ThE MysTerY Unf0Ldz

2006-10-03T06:42:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Always Somewhere by Scorpions

It's the fasting month and in this holy month, i'm abit different in my mood, my acts and my desires, in a good way. Praise Allah.

I will have to force myself to wake up in the afternoon one of this days, I wanna go take some porridge at the Mosque for my grandfather. It's sometimes sad to see your beloved ones suffering. Even tho, from my birth, his vision of me was nothing more of a blurry image, his love and advises have guided me well and always, a good sense of humour.

Once he said during Aidilfitri, "Rasyid...susah ah atuk mata tak nampak, badan sengal-sengal....kalau dapat lagi 2-3 ramahdan, shukur allhamduhlilah"...and upon hearing that, my heart sink and all I can do was say a heartfelt prayer to God to grant him his wishes. And I replied "Insya-Allah atuk. Insya-Allah." .It makes me think, his readiness to face death, it leaves me thinking.

I haven't get much chance to pay the grandparent's a visit, dad's overseas and everyone's busy and that day I went and got to see my grandfather, he's getting weaker due to old age, however just sitting and looking at him brings me peace, and I sat by him and he asked me, "Siape ni? Rasyid tak datang eh?" and when I say it's me, his happiness and his smile was one that touched me so deep. Hit me so deep down there...I had to braced myself to prevent tears from rolling down. I felt so blessed, and at the same time sad, at the thought, when he's gone.

If giving one of my eye will make him see again, I swear I will, for when I talk to him, I feel his utmost desire to see his children all grown up and to see my grandmother and all his grandchildren. Still, his faith and his spirit is one I've learnt to follow. If there's such thing as miracles...I pray for that one final moment, when everyone, is there to see him, he'll be granted perfect sight which was taken away from him for more than 40+ years, for him to have a final look at us. I know it will mean alot to him. It will mean alot to me. So, those with sight, cherish it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm writing a letter to God. Almost all my prayers have been answered. So God is listening somewhere. Whether it be writing or saying a prayer, I think it's our heart that matter. God bless .

2006-08-08T01:36:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Holding On to Nothing by Agnelli & Nelson

World Cup 2006 was pretty much a good tournament, except was kinda disappointed by Brazil's performance as with the talents they have this time round, I was expecting Brazil to play more beautifully and score more goals. Alot of the players in my era will not be there to play in the next World Cup. Some of the great names will be Ronaldo(who's now getting fat) , Beckham(Commercial Star rather than a footballer), Roberto Carlos(The classic bannana goal in World Cup 98), Oliver Khan & Buffon ( THE Goalkeepers), Zidane ( Who ends his World Cup with a Head to the Chest Butt to Materazzi in the Finals) and alot of the players I was inspired by and grew up watching. Au revoir !! The finals...Italy won on penalties. 5-3. " Ole...Ole....Oleeeeeee yeeea Olleee....Celebrate the game ! the game....."

I don't mean to hurt people...but sometimes when u get hurt, getting even is the perfect remedy. No feeling of guilt, no remorse just satisfaction. Sometimes people need to feel what they make others felt. "Standing in the rain...Twisted and Insane....We're holding on to nothing..........."

A passing of a friend....Shahril (Boboy)....Memories will always be remembered....Those times when you lived will still live on in our hearts....Rest in peace brother...God bless. "Thinking of the day...when u went away...what a life to take...what a bond to break...i'll be missing u..."

I've picked up a new hobby.......Gambling....lol. Yeah, nothing major, just Toto and the SG Sweep. I have been having dreams of winning money, like 600k and 200k...thus, as most of my dreams comes true...why not? lol. I've major plans if I really do win some big money. God bless and hope one day, I'll strike big, like 2 million....hahaha...or anything like in my dream....gosh, it will help me alot and i'll help my family with some financial issues and those friends and people in need.

School's ending soon and I hope i'll pass as i'm so tired of school. It's about time i serve my NS and go out there and start earning my millions...I pray that i'll pass...I don't ask for excellence, just to pass as I know, with my efforts and interest, what to expect. With school out of the way soon, the only other matter troubling me every day is my court case. I just can't wait for the day it will just end. I'm so tired of enduring it's mental torment. It's like you're just hanging on and the odds of you falling so deep down is so far greater than you being pulled back up...but still, you're still hanging with a glimpse of hope....that the Heavens are on your side.

I've been coughing so bad that I feel my lungs pounding so hard against my chest with each cough. I guess...I will start to cut down on those death sticks that have been my friends for 6 years. They are really making me ill. And those pills and alcohol that are my quick escapes from troubles, heartaches and reality...it's time we go our separate ways soon. All Good times have to come to an end.

2006-05-11T05:26:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Tunggu Aku di Jakarta By Sheila On 7

Hey people ! When was the last time i got into my blogger? last year? lol...honestly, i forgotten my password. Some trial and error, and taaddaa...guess who's back ???

Sleepless nights. I fucked up my body clock. I wake at 6pm and I sleep at 6am. Well done Acitz. You have achieved living the noctunal life of a Vampyre like you always wanted to be...only that you are still very much human.

Let's jot down a quick rewind......whiiioiiinnnnnnnzzzzzzxxcxcxcxcxxxxskrraaakkk "Alamak, rosak sikit ah cassette ni, da ade mushroom rupenye...kwakwakwa"...whiioooiiinnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......*press play*...............................

I passed my driving license on 25th July** My FYP is a pain the arse ** Got my Mitsubishi Lancer on 12th October 2005** Got into my first road accident on 20th Oct...10.05pm...looks bad...what a way to start off...I was damn traumatised...I took it as an expensive lesson** I drove to KL and back...despite the recent accident, I can't thank my family more for the support and still believing in me...restoring my confidence**And there's all the birthdays forgetting not my sweetheart's 19th and all my great friends. ** KL trip with my Sunshine, Fazli, Ahmad, Hajar, Pi, Leena...wondering where's Farah? There's some complications in a dramatic beginning...well, in all, it was a good time, I loved the place we stayed** ZOUK OUT !!! ** NYE @ Pipi's crib...the party was dope ** Shahril aka boboy, another friend fighting a what seems a losing battle against cancer...it was painful to see him suffer, all the pain in his face...the feeling so hopeless...yet it's reality...May the Almighty hear my prayers and have mercy on your soul...I've pray for a better day for you, with love...** My cousin got married...kinda funny, I still rmbr him as the crazy guy who would do all kinda stupid things together...and now, a father and all different. ** My ex gf is now married and now have a baby boy...I still trying to get the picture up in my head. ** Paul Van Dyke was an upset ** Tiesto at MOS was a good night ** I'm getting hooked on a good cup of Starbuck's Caramel Frappucino... ** Plenty of parties...a little bit too much sometimes I think...lol. ** ..............*forward*...........** My 20th birthday .... Thanks to everyone who makes it special...you know who you are...Special thanks to my Sunshine and yeah, Rod...lol. ** Our 29th month and you're ever still so lovely... ** .......*pause*.......**

Well, I think my life couldn't get any better...Sometimes I just feel so thankful to the Almighty, Allah...I don't know how to put all my gradtitude to God. Well, i know i'm quite a sinner in this world...but in my heart, I'm my own saint...and i pray in my own world every time I feel this feeling, a feeling of blessed...I pray for people i know, i love, i care, i remember, i pity, and lastly for myself....and I believe God is listening as my prayers are answered....God is great. "Exchange your troubles for some love....wherever you are"

The future is full of surprises in this kaleidoscope of chaos....may it be pleasant surprises....Lots of love.

Anyway, if u got a part time job to offer....do look for me...I want one. Cheers !

Peace be upon you.

"I'm longing for the sun......here we come......to the island without name"

2005-07-19T00:47:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Promises by The Cranberries

How have it been lads..? lol.

How time passes by so fast that if you don't spent a moment to look back, you might missed it. Love is something unpredictable. 19 mths. For me...it's really something, i feel blessed. Playboy tamed. I want to be a better person. I wished she really see something in me...cos I see lots of things in her."I had a match...but she had a lighter...I had a flame...but she had a fire."

Birthdays everywhere...I forgotten some. Apologies. Well, for those where I was there..it was great. That time at on Dboy's birthday was a fantastic one. Nice to feel the rush of adrealin once again. I wore her out after that. LoL. "Oulala papayaya"

Yeah..i won't forget the time she drank too much and simply get wasted..lol..that's the worst state I ever see her in. Well, I spent most of my high with her outside the club. You really mean alot to me, sunshine. So don't apologies...it's ok...everyone have their fucked up times. You were there by me when I was hanging on for my life. I really overdone it that time. Memory of it haunts me. "All the promises we made...Promises we made...All the meaningless and empty words I broke"

Now Fazli's driving...a mazda 3...And Shahril will soon be getting his Vios...I am happy for both of them...just wondering when will it be my turn to be happy for myself..my test is coming, well to be honest...I am more preoccupied with my driving test then my academic tests..lol..well, can u just see the interest in there. I hope i make it this 1st time...I just can't wait much longer...pls god. I'll be so grateful....and yeah, help Ahmad too...I think he is way behind...Thank you. " Flying at the speed of sound...I'll show you how it all began..."

Remember the times when town was still our playground. Searching for vintage sneaks & cool stuffs. We seek thrills in any form. Sex, drugs , alcohol..Teenage pyrexes, illegally drinking alcohol and smoking cigarrettes. We were mere 14 yrs olds. Getting into clubs and mixing with all kind of fucked up 'matured' people. School is where we play. Everyday a new day of fun and laughter. Getting into fights is a way of getting recognised. How times changes how things are done...places...people...if I look back , I might laugh, I might regret....but whatever I did back there...This is who I am. And I got god to thank for showing me the ups & downs of life. Without it...Life is meaningless. The journey continues.......... "destak !destak !destak !destak ! destak! destak! .........."

2005-05-26T06:16:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : We Are The Champions by Queen

Liverpool is a mighty team with great potential which needs a few more quality signings and a tatically wise manager to excel. And today Liverpool displayed their class. No one would expect any team especially in a Champions League Finals to come back from 3 goals down and win the game in a thrilling penalty kick. But Liverpool shows a new meaning to a miracle. A game full of shots, chances, misses...a game full of Hope. It was a great game...One that will go down history lane and be remembered for years to come. And it's not those rich clubs like Man Utd, Chelsea, Real Madrid, Barcelona or AC Milan that lifted the Champions Trophy tonight. No...Tonight's Liverpool's night...The Mighty Reds, The pride of Merseyside...Liverpool the Champion Of Europe of 2005. You will never walk alone. Hail Rafael Benitez ! Hail Steven Gerrard! Hail Carragher ! Hail Dudek ! Hail Luis Garcia ! Hail Hypia ! Hail Riise ! Hail Xabi Alonso ! Hail Smicer ! Hail Didier Hamann ! Hail Kewell ! Hail Traore ! Hail Cisse ! Hail Baros ! Cheers ! "No time for Losers 'cos we are the Champions of the World"

2005-05-13T23:06:00.000+08:00

Beautiful stranger....u make my day when I am so down. Beautiful stranger, u make me feel i know u for thousands of years. U make me smile with ur sincerity. Ur smile is heavenly and your looks bring about a new meaning to everything. I feel as if i could talk anything to u...if only she understands me like u do. I thank u for giving me hope, for pushing me on to what i believe. Now god have really show me that age is merely a number...and u must be the angel god sent to me. "Happiness Keeps u sweet, Trials Make u strong, Sorrows Keep u Human, Failure Keeps u Humble, Success Keeps u glowing & God Keeps u going." ... Thank you, u lift a heavy burden off my shoulders ... which u never will know.

2005-05-13T04:05:00.000+08:00

Souncheck : Butterflies & Hurricanes by Muse

Anger. Release.

Lies are very hurtful don't u understand...Yeah, fuck am I not OK...and why you kept doing it to me...it sucks being a good guy when bart simpson , cheesecake boy 'Nik' and etc are the ones who gets treated so nicely. At least if u want it to be like this...be fair...I can stop giving so much attention to this relationship. I am being fucking patient and you make me look like a fool. Never take my patience for granted .Stop asking me and ask yourself for a change...what is causing this mess . Do something about it .I felt a hatred so much at that moment that an angry, old self of mine was just waiting to make an appearance...and it's growing stronger each day...are u testing me ? Don't . You may think u can get away with the lies...but u are so wrong. It will take a few more...trust me...and the table's will be turning and don't ever think of sharing the blame. I am sick of being treated like this. And to ur sideline boys...u trashers better pray hard that I don't get back to where I was...I hate to be threatened, I hate being lied to and most of all...don't EVER cross my line . Next time I won't be patient. I will have my waited revenge. "Your number has been called.....fights and battles have begun......revenge will surely come..... your hard times are ahead "

2005-05-10T03:57:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Mr. Brightside by The Killers

3 hours , We confessed & talked things through...all that causing the missing piece in our relationship...It was an emotional talk for me...I really poured my heart fillings and if she still don't understand me...I don't know how to put myself to her...As I look into her eye..I found a thousand reasons why, that she is the most beautiful thing that happened ever to me and all others stand no where near to where she is in my heart..I now knew that she was the reason I felt so alive..Now things are going the other way round for both of us. She demands much freedom and blamed me for being too commited . If it's revenge...I don't blame her...I once treated her like that. But I need time to learnt & realised, and I grew to where I am now. I love her, I am commited and if god allows...I will want to be with her for the rest of my life...well, she's not so sure about that . It hurts but it's her feelings...If I could ask your opinion..Even if u are taking a step at a time...Do u in a relationship, with a someone u love, at least have a Hope of being together for the rest of your life...and if got the life...get married one day ? That's what I Hope for in my relationship...and she thinks it's wrong for me to hope like that...it's not like i am a freak who even talks abt marriage and etc...I am just being commited...pls don't blame her...it's all individual. But , I still awaits some answers...well, disappointingly, she needs to think...... "It started out with a kiss...How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss "

2005-05-10T00:27:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Tattva by Kula Shaker

...........Life isn't so great when u are down, bored, broken, hurt, and ignored. Life is unfair whether i like it or not but for my case now...I don't. Hoping to win trusts tru those actions are bold but hurtful...I will try to overcome that, in hope things will change for the better..I Hope. I feel second best to the treatment I received. I don't blame anyone, it's just life. Sometimes i wonder when was the last time..I was truly happy..just pure happiness..not stimulated by alchohol or drugs . And i still am wondering...do smiling implies that i am happy ? do laughing shows that i am happy ? The feeling seems to have desert me...when, i still unsure.
"I'm on fire I'm rotting to the core..I'm eating all your kings and queens..All your sex and diamonds.."

Take a guess....

I dreamt of a day when a friend who makes my world a whole different place from where I am right now come and save me in this dark hour of mine......someone who sincerely will be a friend, not for the fame, money, pity, attention...not for anything...as days passes by...I feel closer to meeting that friend..but still not yet...not yet. "Like the flower and the sand of summer...Like the sun and the shine..well, the truth comes in many disguises."

2005-05-09T18:00:00.000+08:00

"Let's The Sunshine In"~Raving as the sun rises above e horizon~*24th April*

You can see fishes swim if u spent a moment to look.

This is what I called "Sudah Kena Loceng" trang trang trang...

They have alot of big amplifiers sending kapoom kapoom music to the hungry crowd.

People who made my birthday special. Thank You. *23rd April*

"I wear my sunglasses at night..." ~ Raveheads on the thrill. *23rd April*

And you thought it was over...think it over again.

Meet the lovely Girls.

The Fullmoon Rave Fanatics...Keep your distance.

Every visit without fail...the place where it all started.

I wanna relive this moment with u sunshine...

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

The Eye Of A Raver...6.13am

The moon casts a mystery

A daily afternoon sight in Hadrin....

A Popo grammy award should be awarded to this van...Simply art.

Photos are courtesy of all those good people sober/tripping/stoned/drunk/wasted at the moment of picture taken. Cheers to all..and hundreads more pictures are available for view...in time. Cheers.

2005-04-29T12:00:00.000+08:00

Just got back from Thailand.....i feel somewhat different.....somewhat different. Let's rest now....let me take a deserving sleep...for i haven't been doing so for a week. "Missing u is killing me, those pills are my solitude to your heroin effects"

................it feels so relieving to finally rest. "I wasn't paranoid, i was just unwell"

2005-04-20T19:04:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Sunglasses At Night By Tiga & Zyntherius

Acitz's Adventure ----> The Islands of the Siamese

Excited...Can't wait for the adventure ahead. Hopefully my budget of $500 would be enough for i don't know how long i will be there. Thanks Ibu, Thanks Abah for the money and the flight ticket...I love u guys more than my life. Well, to those hopefuls, don't put so much hope that i will buy things for u guys...u Really want it...give me advanced cash...then rest assured i get u your stuffs..other than that...I will buy if I got the extra bahts...i'm pretty tight on my own now...but it will be fun & interesting...I got some places in mind to check out. Ooo...I can't wait.
"Cos I am leaving on a jet plane..I don't know when I'll be back again...Oooh babe...i'll miss u so"

And to everyone...don't call me...u will longer the list of overseas call in the bill and that won't be appreciated...LoL. If any Important news...msg me. I will likely be on the msn on short periods...mostly some part of noon and night...if I do got the time to visit cyber cafes. I am looking forward to renting a bike, cruise ard the island...check out the waterfalls, beaches, shops, pubs...what a getaway !! Cheers. "So kiss me and smile for me..tell me that u'll wait for me..Hold me like u never let me go..."

The Raver Is Re-born. "Get.....away from me...cos I'll get strong...crush"

2005-04-19T17:31:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Don't Look Back In Anger by Oasis

So it's confirmed...Thursday morning..7.40am i will start my journey to paradies...alone.Destination...Phuket--->Surathani--->Koh Phangan--->???--->???--->???--->Bangkok--->Singapore. There's mixed feelings abt this...but a weird feeling in me is really looking forward going, alone, a feeling that dear so much just to rest, to relax...to run away.I guess...i m going with that feeling. for how long? I'm not sure...What's the worst thing that can happen? Me appearing in the next sequeal of the local show...ermm..."Missing" ? lol...or something like that, I am not alone...I am with god. "My soul slides away...But don't look back in anger...I heard u say...It's time to play..."

Tuesday have never been so quiet...I am going for a quiet drink...to just sit and ponder. "I can promise you tomorrow...But I can't buy back yesterday"

Til the day i return.....God bless. "In this ending, I found a beginning."

2005-04-19T03:50:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Tiger Lily By Matchbook Romance

When I thought everything was going to be back as we used to be...there it goes again, she gave me hope...I was hoping. As days past by...my passion for this is fading fast...I feel like she doesn't have it for me anymore...I am beginning to accept what is happening and what is going to happen...she might think I don't know anything...but girl, u must be a fool to think I am that easy...Now I really have opened up my eyes and the pain I feel isn't feeling better like this...the tiredness in my eyes is due to sleepless nights, where I think of how to make things better, I swear I want us to be eternal...I nvr meant to hurt her and I truly love her...but honestly, I have done everything I think I could do...There is an imbalance that if left for i don't know how much longer will topple our relationship. I don't know what else to expect. And don't tell me...coz I don't want to know anymore...so many times and it still the same...time to stop... "This is where our journey ends "

Your words were piercing, your tone were cold, am I really hearing this from someone whom I sacrificed my soul, pride, time, money...my everything to? I am so torn...to an extend of shivering and tears...why am I reacting this way? It's so hard to breathe...so angry...Forgive my harshness...I was too angry...too angry to control myself...Didn't u even take a moment to aknowledge my concern, my worries, u did ask me to correct u...to be ur guiding star...but she's just being herself. I was wrong to try and change u for what i see was best for us. Why are lies and deception always befalls me. I did hold to my promise...why didn't u...why....it hurts real bad. u always say I will nvr know how much u love me...well..now i know...u, u will nvr know how much i love u...u will nvr know the future i intend...u will nvr know the surprises i been keeping for u. Once is too much...I shall live my life...u shall live yours...farewell sunshine. "Love is one big illusion I should try to forget"

Where is the warmth that made me smile on a bad day, that made me believe...I am breathing but god knows how dead I am inside...I guess I rather be alone somewhere else, far away rather than being any longer here...I might as well get used to it...Maybe u don't feel it... it's nothing wrong with u but then again, i think i have tried...now, I guess, i will just leave things the way they are. I get paranoid literally thinking of people taking advantages of u, mistreating, using u...cos u r so fragile, so easy, so inviting, so stupid sometimes...as long as u're mine, all I want is to protect u from harm's way. Now, you can do all those things u want...which I forbid all these while..cos I guess we're never meant to be together..we did tried..I thought we were soulmates..the hands..I just hope u will be happy..I hoped that one day u will realised and at least smile...that there was someone who sincerely loves u....It's not my loss. "Life has come a long way since yesterday"

Our neverending story have end.

No flower lasts for ever...

We once were happy...

We had our days...just not our years...

Sweet memories...

Do u really know where's the stars....

I took for granted all the times that i thought would last somehow...

I'd rather hurt you honestly....than mislead you with a lie

Sometimes when we touch....

Miles and miles of empty space in between us...

Nothing but a memory now...

God sent me an angle, help me get through this.........

2005-04-15T04:50:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Stir It Up By Bob Marley

I am beginning to accept reality..things ard me are changing..and so am I.

Y0u can sail with me in my yellow submarine

No boundries in this smoky friendship...it was real lads.

Ask me why I kept coming back ? This might give you a picture.

I'll be back....with or without someone...the peace & serenity is what I sought. The party is the desert. The shoppings are souviniers to remember.

2005-04-14T02:10:00.000+08:00

Ringggggggg....Yaawwwnssssss....

I'm all sober but i am up aight..My game is starting soon..Liverpool vs Juventus in Turin..Go Reds !! Errrmm...holidays are pretty humble lately...did nothing spectacular...went for some "Kerang Rebus" delights with her, Ahmad & Hajar at Habibi Restaurant at Tampines. Later met up Fazli & Farah. Wohoo..Farah was driving that day and I was so filled with envy ...can't wait for my turn to be behind the driver's seat. Aight, other than that, I have been going daily from Monday to Thursday to SSDC for my driving practicals. Driving is kinda fun and I am now at lesson 20 ...Left with 13 more before I can go for my TP. Today is my last practicals that I have booked and I tried to book but the slots are all full til end of May. Guess those poly students on holidays are doing the same thing I am doing...tried and clear as many lesson as possible before school re-opens. Well, fuck them..now I have to wait when I am so geared up to drive. My Trip? I ain't sure myself...it seems like reality that I will be travelling ard Thailand alone this time. Well, there's always a first for everything...Cheers. My birthday's ard the corner...til then, I will be enjoying my last few 18th yrs of life, the number's abt to change. "I'm just a freedom fighter...Tomahawk indulgence...No remorse "

"I think I fell for the girl in green...she's so lovely...What now?"

2005-03-31T01:46:00.000+08:00

Sounkcheck : Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi

Sheesh..i am so glad that I just left with one last paper..cos I am so not interested in doing my exams. Gosh..i don't know what's wrong with me..but I just don't seem to care anymore..I just want to make it tru. If I got D for DAD,FCS & EM3A modules..i will be happy enough. It all cocked up early in the semester..the lab tests, the quizzes and CT. This semester is not a good one. So I just hope to get tru...and put it behind me. "Oo...well, it seems like such fun until u lose what u've won."

Well..it seems my holiday won't b going the way i plan. My sunshine won't be shining with me in thailand. Her exam schedule just clashes again. It will be so beautiful if I get to spent it with her..so beautiful. I can picture it in my mind, my dream, my fantasies. Sigh..."It's all about u..It's all about u baby.*

Another earthquake have taken it's toll of lives again. My prayers for the souls which are lost. They surely have their plans, their dreams, their problems which suddenly doesn't seem to matter anymore. Maybe they were looking forward for tommorrow which never came. Maybe they were going to see someone who they never get to see. I tried putting myself in their place and it's so sad..so sad. Rest in peace. "And I felt a chill through my body...That I'll never forget..Till the day we meet again...Face to face with a grin...In hell or heaven."

2005-03-28T00:36:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Redemption Song by Bob Marley

I can't study like this.........pls almighty god, y am i so depressed at this kinda time. I need to make tru this. pls..give me strength. My dreaded FCS paper and i am feeling like trash and I can't concentrate...just do anyhow i can. Hoping for a miracle, again. "Imancipate yourself from mental slavery...none but ourselves can free our mind"

Peace out

2005-03-27T03:44:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Setia by Jikustik

Dudeeeee..i can smell it. Yes..i can smell it. Things are abt to get rowdy soon. School's out. Holiday's in. Cheers !

I have been different, patient, loving, persistent, caring, worrying, paranoid, misunderstood, difficult, lonely, emotional, sensitive, truthful, hurt, sad, angry, confused, lost, denying, thinking, guessing, wanting, waiting...Things are abt to change. I should start thinking abt myself..I don't want these feelings to ruin my holiday. I thought something good will come out of it..but..nothing..Let's just fuck it then. "Never take this sincere soul for granted...the soul lives on..but the sincerity might die"

2005-03-27T02:30:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Look What You've Done by Jet

My day was basically ok...met up with Ahmad, Fazli, Hajar & Farah at parkway parade. Talked abt Ahmad's & Hajar's trip to Bintan. The beaches looks nice,Sounds relaxing...I loves to go, but i don't know why...I still prefer Thailand..lol..mayb I prefer the rugged environment to the exquisite resorts & all. Well, I can anytime just hop to Samui if i need that treatment. But if we go together...I'll go. Ahmad bought me a vespa, too small for me...but Hilman's Spiderman will love it..lol..it's nice..thanks lad. And they got izah a sea shell necklace..but i think it looks good on me..tho not much guys wear that..but u need an original like me to start things like these...we dare, they follow. wankers O wankers.....u're all the same, lame. "You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer"

I shuldn't have ask. I feel like calling her up, wondering if she got back safe, hope to get to share the joy of her day...but why shuld i when she doesn't. Next time please don't bother asking. Thank you..I am feeling Faboulous you know. "Never coming down now...never coming down..no more, no more, no more, no more."

2005-03-26T00:50:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Butterfly by Crazy Town

Bunny loves carrot. Bunny is horny. Tiger loves horny bunny. Bunny loves to hop. Tiger loves to pounce. Tiger likes to bite Bunny. Bunny & Tiger loves to hop & pounce in the wild. Grrrrrrrowlll...lol.

2005-03-24T02:48:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Terlerai Janji by Exists

Even though she is still here, even though we talk, even though she call & msg me..I still miss her . Where is she...the girl I fell in love with? When did she go ? Frustrated, confused, lost to where has she gone. She was my everything. Now, she's merely a part of my life. I still try to believe that she is still here. But you are no longer her. Slowly, forcefully & painfully...I am moving on in silence. Trying to pour my heart out to her is no longer appreciated. I just want to try and love her again. Trying to adapt slowly. I tried..But she's too fast for me, I fell chasing her, injured & hurt, I waited for her ever soft warm hand to help me up but she nvr came back, I was to0 dependent on her..I guess I trust her too much to give all my heart to her..yet I nvr trusted her to break it. I am still down..pls come back and help me up dear, I fell hard and I shattered..I can't carry on..I m begging her to help me, but she's now too far to hear my cries, to see my pain. I never meant to hurt anyone. Yet I am to be blamed. In my innocence I plead guilty. Guilty that I can't do it without her .

with love,
....................................... .... ... ............ .............. ... . . . .. .... . i wish the dots will nvr stop, pls.

*Sukarnya untuk aku melupakan....Terasa kini bagai kegelapan.............................Mungkinkah aku yang disalahkan*

God Bless.

2005-03-23T05:16:00.000+08:00

Soundcheck : Pop That Booty by Marques Houston

Hah!
If you ask me if i am a booby or booty...I say BOOTy..lalala..girls with firm & fine behind makes me feel hot. What more if you can pop ur fine booty well...ahah...u r in a good time with me sugar. *grin*..lol. "I like it when she calls me dada" I am very proud of my sunshine...and myself..hehe..cos she now can finally ride a bicycle..after i taught her that is..lol..I know it's no big fuck to u guys...but..it makes me happy seeing that she finally believes she can do it...she looks cute doing it...lol...Ahmad & Hajar should also be receiving the credits for participating in this..lol..Fazli & Farah missed out mann..it's rare to find a 18 yrs old girl who don't know how to ride a bicycle..lol..that was before tho..now she's cool..lol..aigght..Got an overseas call just now...I thought it was my dad..but what a surprise when it's Ahmad..lol..he's at bintan with his 'starfish'..lol..cam B, can i call u my starhub? lol...well, they sound happy..must be nice..can't wait for my vacation..i wish it turned out the way i dream of..haizz..how i wish i could have her with me there..i will mean the world to me..i just wanna share my joy with her..well..I gotta carry on with my blardy maths. Wish me luck aight comprades. "I want to ride my Bicycle...i want to ride my bike."

2005-03-23T04:28:00.000+08:00

Wat's up yaLL ?

Soundcheck : For An Angel By Paul Van Dyke

Who is the 'genius' who invented maths ? I'll Kill u ! lol... ok, I don't mean the basic 1+1 = 2 junkie...those are needed to count the days left in your life, or how many bitches have u slept with . Well, what really sent my brain juice dry is the major pain in the arse..and i mean those Laplace Transforms , Fourier Series & the rest of those trash. Dude...who really need these stuff in their life? unless u are planning on creating the next nuclear bomb or mayb the spaceship or whatever u going to use that calculation for ...sheesh. I don't mind learning programming and stuffs like that as u might use them in Life...but those kinda maths...i just wanna make it tru...darn...i HATE doing this...My ambition is not to be a Mr Tan, Sir Ali or Dr Bala. "Maybe I don't really wanna know...How your garden grows. Cos I just wanna fly"

Went to HRC on monday...my first after so long..say my previous dated up to 1-2 yrs ago..dude...I felt weird just at the thought I am there...seriously..well, just have fun laughing at some stuffs dwn there..lol..trendy wankers was everywhere..this particular guy was dancing, more like jerking like I nvr seen before..possessed kinda stuff..mann..I wonder what drug he was on..lol..btw, it was unexpected anyway..so most to most..see u in HRC next 2 yrs. "I can see a liar, sitting by the fire"

Have u ever have dreams that are so real that u could feel the touch, cry the tears, laugh it out, feel the pain, shiver in fear and when the grand finale is near..u find urself waken up in cold sweat ? I had plenty and it keep on happening to me. Everytime i experience a flashback...I swear I have done that before, been there before..exactly the same..but that was in my dream and now it's happening to me. I felt that my dreams are showing me the happenings in the future. However I can merely remember the dream until it happened..then it will be such a familiar experience as that of my dream. And I am so scared & uncertained of certain dreams I had. Well, some beautiful ones...pls do make it happen, God. "I guess I have paid for the show..why don't I just watch it til the end." ................... "Selamat tidur kekasih gelap ku..."

2005-03-16T02:10:00.000+08:00

Hola...
the semester is almost over and tho exams are near..somehow i feel this calmness..I feel closer & closer to returning to a paradies. Just wanna get over it..Most probably, I will start revising soon. So I will be going M.I.A aight lads..well, I will be looking forward to a rewarding holiday..it's worth my sacrifice.. "Just one thing makes me forget...Red Red Wine..Stay close to me..Don't let me be in love..it's tearing apart my blue blue heart. "

" Vatos Loko's !"
Ayan is crazy.But no matter how weird he gets..I still enjoy his warm greeting whenever i cross his path at town, zouk or any happenings..he'll be there...and lol..he's just wacky. Been awhile i pay Sin Ming Ave a visit..wondering how's mummy & daddy are doing. While...Jengz is doing what he does best...his disappearing and sudden appearance act..mann..the last time i saw him was..hrmm..way backk..he wasn't even there at zouk out...then out of nowhere...Poof*...he gave me a call. He's now a commited person to his gf, she's a nice girl..that's a change. Dax & Salleh Tuer going to serve NS..so they will be going M.I.A. Then, there was Mas Indra..He and his nvr ending issues with his ex-gf, her sister..and the list goes on..just chill lad..just don't bother anymore..Shika that night was different..I thought she's a jap until she opened her mouth that is. She's so fair and wow..got me confused. Izin now is back to his blonde afro..lol..he sure look like Ben frm City Of God..oi Puta~!..lol..Fyfy as usual..seemed so happy to see me..she's a great companion. The usual people yet neverless special people in my life are always there..you guys know who you are..Guess who is in my "I want to meet next..I miss" list? Dino!! . Wonder how's his Dj carreer is doing..heard he's now spinning in Liberte' & Lempika..I think I will give him a surprise soon.Well, I was touched by the response I got the two night..nvr knew I was so missed..lol..and my sunshine too..we 'r ONE. "I can see the pain in your eyes...Cos Everybody's changing and I don't know why, Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same."

Went window shopping with my girl that day and we saw lots of nice stuffs we would like to get our hands on...Shhhh...Don't tell people our secrets. Til the cash drop from the sky....cheers.

*She's asleep and I am awake, the owl meets sleeping beauty*

2005-03-10T21:39:00.000+08:00

***Sick***

Sitting alone in my dimmed blue room...
Cornered & stoned...
I've seen it...I see it coming,
It's from the clothes we wear,
The footware be bear,
Our tasteless bracelets and the dye in our hair,
Maybe the sex, alchohol or the drugs we do,
We just don't wanna be like you,
Maybe our looseness,
Maybe it's our sweetness,
You know we are originals,
Everyone from the one almighty god above,
To the damned hounds of hell below,
You can try to be like us,
You can dress up like us,
But you cannot never take our place,
Take your time but I shall warn you,
I am a armed for the kill,
You are just a replica of my imagination.............
And I am sick of you,
It's Sick..Sick..Sick....like a pig with an apple
And that's just the way it is........

But why the problem..when,
That's not a problem,
That's not my problem,
That's not your problem.

I am coming to get you,
I am so sick i could kill you,
It's Sick...Sick...Sick....Like a Bush in a chapel
And that's just the way it is......

** I Know You Want The Sin Without The Sinner **

2005-03-09T03:44:00.000+08:00

GO BARCELONA.........!! BARCELONA!! BARCELONA!!

Cheers lads.

2005-03-09T01:48:00.000+08:00

Hey lads...was bored and was checking out SFOGs...u know, the pictures, articles and stories...just wanna spook myself to sleep..but it ain't working. Thou, after going tru the pictures...i found it kinda funny how they have this preception that those orbs are something spiritual..like mann, just a small white orb, u will like own a scary picture...lol...that's lame. Well, if that's it..check out theses pictures...somewhere near harbour front.. 1+ am. Just another night out for a drink.

*Orb party dude~!!! Yipeykahyeh~!!*

*No worries ! The Ghostbusters are here!*

* Boys & Girls....Don't try this at home *

*You can run..but you can't hide*

*The best in the business*

*After a hard day at work...cheers.*

Now, do I get my award ?

2005-03-07T15:07:00.000+08:00

I am having my DAD lab now and I feel like being over at Phangan, say 6.45pm,watching the sunset,on a bar on top a hill,listening to melodies of raggae grooving the mood,having a chilled beer, sharing life experiences with people from all over the world, waiting for my sumptious dinner to be served, smoking my magical joint..everything seems so beautiful..so perfect...

Every day, hour, minute, second passed seems to bring me closer to it. I dear so much for it. I missed it so much. I love it so much. Nothing here can be compared with it. The beauty it possesses just hynoptize me. The pureness it possess. I miss it. *Freedom & Peace*

*So why don't we go...Somewhere only we know....*

2005-03-07T03:17:00.000+08:00

*Things I hate about you*

~I hate it when you make me feel good with empty promises.
~I hate it the way you sound so cold on the phone.
~I hate it when you ask me to wait just to read & respond to your messages. ~I hate it when you go to someone else for comfort when I am always here for you.
~I hate it when you break my heart.
~I hate it how close you make me with your family.
~I hate it when you said you'll be back early, cause you will never be.
~I hate the hope & faith you've given me cause it's so empty.
~I hate it when you lie, cause I can see right through your voice, your eyes..
~I hate it when you compare me with someone else.
~I hate it how much you make me miss you.
~I hate it when you gave some other guys more attention than me.
~I hate it when u look so enthusiatic meeting some other guys than me.
~I hate it when i make you cry.
~I hate it when you always cry instead of talking things out with me.
~I hate when I hurt you cause I never meant too.
~I hate your smoking habits...I don't want you to die.
~I hate it when you always make me look like the guilty one.
~I hate it when you switched off your phone and claimed you've gone to sleep.
~I hate it when you told me you'll call but I'll just wait til dawn but there's no calls.
~I hate it when you make me feel so unappreciated & lonely.
~I hate it how much I love you.
~I hate it that I can never hate you.

I am still waiting for her....where are her promises to me?
When are things going to change?
Is she still outside?
What is she doing now?
What time is she going to call me like she promised to?
Why did she off her hp right after my call?
What's her the reason going to be now?
Is this how she intend on making things better?
Does she think a 'I'm sorry' will let her off just so that she can repeat things again?
What wrong have I done to her to deserve this?
Does she knows how I feel?
Does she know why I never cheated on her?
Does she know why I spent my every cent on her?
Does she want a barrel of my tears to prove my love?
Don't my sacrifices mean a thing to her?
Does she knows that she mean a world to me?
Does she really love me?

Pls God...I know you have answers to my questions...answer me.

2005-03-01T02:03:00.000+08:00

Hey lads...how's it going?

I feel like being a sea turtle all of a sudden..lol..*Imagine myself being a Sea Turle*...With a heavy burden to carry,(The shell) i seem to be swimming gracefully with no sense of direction in the wide open ocean. However, when the time arises to lay eggs, I'll always know the right direction to go (I don't lay eggs tho). I don't know y I kept returning to dry land knowing how much I have to struggle, how vunerable i am at the moment, being helpless..but i followed my heart..there's an urge. Tears of a turtle seemed so ever painful but it just weeps in silence with no remorse, no regrets. Most of my hardwork(Laying the eggs) seems to have a large fraction gone to waste. Thou the small fraction of it seems to give a new hope, a new beginning...it's worth it. While enjoying a moment to embrace love and hope, i have to watch out for stray fish nets & hungry Great Whites. Thou I have a expensive taste for the best fish..I will settle for sea weed. But i still prefer pizza....nyucknyucknyuck...cowabangga~!

*Tenage mutant Ninja turtle*
*Facts & Background courtesy of Animal Planet*

I Need to go on a holiday...wish could follow Ahmad & Hajar to Bintan...lol...anybody wanna go to Thailand on the end of April or Early May? Get back to me aight..I'll take u to a place that will sent all your worries away. I missed it so much already. Can't wait to be a turtle again...hahahaha...now i am sleepy...hahahaha. Ciao .

2005-02-25T19:44:00.000+08:00

Sorry baby, I just need to let out.

This month ain't bright at all..tho, it's sure is hot. I did make a big decision..and damn it surely hurts before and after making it. I felt alone, ignored and taken for granted. She always claimed to understand how i feel..she said all those sweet things and how we are going to work it out for the better..but she's not doing it. It just words. How would you feel if after a heated arguement, we talked things out and the next day u would want to just meet up with her, chill and cool things off and just feel the warmth of forgiveness and all but yeah, she went to china jam..just becoz I said she could go..but why of all the fucking time that day. I just so need someone to seek comfort in. "Where are u something i called love....?"

And after that the way she treated me was so cold. The voice so monotonous..so empty, no more the warmth & lively feeling..Nowadays..It's like only when she got no one else then will she seek comfort in me..if not..i don't know..whoever those people are..and it's suppose to be our relationship and y the fuck am i the last one to know how you think or feel. I don't know, lately she somewhat changed...whatever the reason..only heaven knows. I was and yet still confused, hurt and angry. I couldn't sleep being worried whenever she got back late..i am not paranoid..I just don't trust her..yeah..you heard me right..I don't trust her..I don't know y..I tried many times but my heart just won't allow it..mayb not yet.."Sometimes it's fading..sense of degrading.......Hang on"

I am not selfish tho i am very revengeful..I know i can't go on like this while she seems to be seeking a freedom i can't grant..it's not that i am shallow minded or what..I experienced too much lies, deception and I don't trust anyone but myself & god. I was a playboy before and girls were nothing serious to me and it's a mutual understanding that we were having a open-relationship and to think of it..it's not about money, it's due to pleasure & satisfaction..they had bfs and fiances..and they even looked so innocent..they weren't at all.."Beware this troubled world..watchout for earthquakes."

She is the greatest thing that happened in my lives and it hurt me like fuck to think that i am leaving her..my choice which i never thought of even making..but..I go with my heart and after some thoughts..It seemed the best thing to do for both of us..she seem to chase something which i don't understand and it seem i can't give her...i got my studies which is affected with all the worries, heartaches and whatever fuck. It seems like my stress from studies is not enough..God..Mercy on my soul..it's tearing me apart...I did left her at town...I told ya i am vengeful..How does it feels like? Somewhat i felt the same before...but i did wanna give her a chance on that exact moment and she talked on the phone with her friend...how painful can it be...i was already late and my lads were waiting for me..don't she think she wasted enough time. And yeah...it's seemed so easy to go for clubbing and drinks with that 'HE'..right after that...i was dumbstrucked. Anything could happened...'HE' brought some friends along and she's the only girl there..she doesn't know how much i cared..i cared for her like my own sister..I brushed aside those thoughts and pray for the better..'HE' seems to be deserving the thanks . Whatever baby...i'm not jealous..seriously...i just find it funny. I laugh at the thought of my sacrifices for her and this is my reward in return..being so-called labelled as the guilty one. "Well, i am moving on, I am grooving on."

And to my futher humour, a pathetic typical matrep, a friend of her..haha.. is trying to woo her...hahah..and she even took the time entertaining him. At least i get some laugh out of this forsaken month. It goes something like " It's love at first sight, i know we are not the same...spread your wings and fly...this is the last message..." something like that and alots more of where that shit come from..fuck mann...those matreps and their desperateness..she told me she just knew him for like a week tops. Mann..i wish i could just bash u up..not becos of her...becoz u disgust me in a way, you fucking trasher. Go and fuck yourself asswipe. Oops..i apologies..i just get mad easily now..guess i been keeping my anger..from everything and it's building up..and i really waiting the opportunity to let it out...seriously..i am waiting for any sorry ass to make the slightest mistake..so stay out the way of this rampaging bull..i am not afraid of dying here. I am too angry for that. And if her faithful friend is reading this...yeah, you got that right..it's you...u are better off fucking around to get what you want rather than interfering in our relationship..stop influencing her you dumb ass, i don't like her living your pathetic so-called "life"...she deserves better and i can give her..the time will come when i can shower her with everything her heart desire..for now, i am schooling..got that..do note it down you retard. Sent this message to your friends . Thank You..Bitch. "Going on my Rampage.."

I think feel better now...

Sunshine...there won't be next time... "Our time is running Out"

Sunshine...i really treasure you...y does tonight have end? it's so hard to let go..and let us try this again..sometimes..I just don't wanna speak these words coz i don't wanna it any worst..y don't we hit restart and pause it at our favourite part baby..we'll skip the good byes...we'll find a way...we'll just run away..just u and i.... "The Neon lights in the night tonight will say...Everything will flow, The stars that shine in the open sky will say..everything will flow"

For now.. "Fuck the surround and party..I need a drink, badly"

"The drugs don't work, it just makes you worse" ...ouh really??? errmmm...nahhhh

2005-01-31T07:23:00.000+08:00

One of all time favourites..Since the childhood days~!

*Lonely Nights*
Scorpions

Since you're gone
There is an empty space
Since you're gone
The world is not the same

I go back to the places we've been
It feels like you're still there
I live all those moments again
Wishing you were here

Since you're gone
There is an lonely heart
Since you're gone
Nothin' is like it was

There are memories all over the place
Bringin' it back all so clear
Remember all of those days
Wishing you were here

All those lonely nights **
I gotta fight for you, yes I do
All those lonely nights **
Yes I do !

Since you're gone
There is a heart that bleeds
Since you're gone
I'm not the man I used to be

I follow you steps in the snow
The traces disappear
We know what we've lost when it's gone
I'm wishing you were here

All those lonely nights **
I gotta fight for you, yes I do
All those lonely nights **
Yes I do!

* When The Smoke Is Going Down *
Scorpions

Just when you make your way back home
I find some time to be alone
I go to see the place once more
Just like a thousand nights before
I climb the stage again this night
'Cause the place seems still alive
When the smoke is going down

This is the place where I belong
I really love to turn you on
I've got your sound still in my ear
While your traces disappear
I climb the stage again this night
'Cause the place seems still alive
When the smoke is going down

I climb the stage again this night
'Cause the place seems still alive
When the smoke is going down
When the smoke is going down
When the smoke is going down

2005-01-31T06:33:00.000+08:00

Hey hey hey ~!

Acitz back in the business yaLL..show some love & respect to da playa~!..LoL. (This what happens when i study too much)

Dude...been a while mann..alot of things happened..mann..i apologies to my fans..lol..i was just too occuppied, life suddenly seemed so full and needs my attention. I guess there's always time for me to share. So where were we.................

Aight..i myself lost track of the past..so i'll start with zoUk Out~! BAsically it was great..me,my mates, the Music, everything was beautiful, a Dance music Extravaganza. Hisham & Dewi got too drunk and lost their Stuffs and all..but yeah..shit happens..and I can't b the hero all the times. And yeah forget not my holidays..my family as usual is away..and sunshine was being so Sweet,thoughtful to spent most of it with me..she cooked for me spaggetti..wow..it was nice..hehe..then we had our wine and dance aight baby...*wink*...just a party for two...it was great..at least i didn't feel so bored and lonesome..i didn't get to go anyway as School reopened early..darnn..It always have to b school..nothing good seem to pop up of schooL...but amist that..i & rod got to the Notorious academy award representing POPO..it was fun mann..been a while...YIPEEKAYEEH~! *You're a mothafucker man Rod..i love you*...And then, all we did was spent time with each other..i don't know bout u baby, but eventhough we were just sitting in each other's arms watching TV, it mean everything to me just that u're there..I wished i can wake up by her side everyday..haizzz..*dazzle-dazzle*...Then we had more party & party & party..and then it was my sunshine's long awaited 18th birthday~! ...i am sorry that i couldn't make it memorable as i planned...financially things went offroad. Hehe..Izah now getting hooked to House music..hehe..wicked..the way she dance..ouuh..pay off after the party..haha..*She shuld know* *wiNk* But sugar..April aight..u know where we're going aight..It gonna b great..I promise. Well, countdown was okey, nothing much here, so just chilled out at zouk..Happiness don't last long..there will always b the downside...

And One of Bro have to serve his time for rioting..mannn, i surely missed his rowdy, cheerful greeting " Mcm Gengz~!".."Da Hayal pe Citz~!"..He will always be worthy of my respect..a great lad..It's hard to see a man weep, let alone to realised his mistakes and it's too late..and someone you look to as a friend..it's just heart-wrecthing..and just before he turn in, he leaves messages that somehow make my heart cry. No worries mate..we'll be waiting for you..And So, our babylon nights would always have an empty seat..someone who we'll wait but will nvr arrive..The lad in red/black striped sweats...Til nxt time aye roy..We missed his picture.

Well, another bro of mine,Fazli, have finally met his match and I hope they last..he needs a girl who can tame him..lol..and i could see tat in recent gf..It needs time mate..just give it time. Well another, Ahmad seemed happy with his life, his gf, Hajar, just celebrated her birthday and he really put in alot of effort alright to make it a surprise..haha..She was surprised alright..thanks to Our Help..LoL..well, it goes on & on..Yeah...I have improved slightly on attendance and i am determined to be punctual for all my MORNING classes..*sigh* And guys...alot of things did happened in these past 3 months and to write it all down...it's just impossible..and I guess I will say my peace for now. God Bless You.

With Love,
Acitz

2004-10-06T01:50:00.000+08:00

Wohh!
~tHe PlaYa Is BacK babEs~Comon to PaPi~! aWw..ReaLLy misS me?
LoL~!!
*Turn Your Lights Down low and pUll the WindOw CurTains*

FarKer DomaLL~! Been GOne For sometiMe..Battling trU the Hardships Of Life..A tough matcH with tho0se dUmb LectuRer regArding my Debarment on 4 modules..LoL..daMn! I'm Good~! Mann..I feeL suck being in Np suddenly..had lotz of thoughts of moving to NYp..but it's like a wasTe Of tiMe..just Endure I guesS. Ermm..as Usual, reLationship got it's rewards & it's challenges..My SunShine & I have been WeatherIng throUgh it togeTher..I tried to be her guildiNg light..but without realising it..I had imprisoned her in my idea of "PerfecT" reLationshiP..yeah B, I'm sorry..I don't know that u're hurt by the things I saId..I nvr meant to hurt u..I wiLL leave it youR way then..

"Now The Drugs Don't Works..It just makes you worse but I know I'll see your face again...coz baby...ouHhh..*shalalala lala*..if heaven calls, I'm coming thru..Just like you said..*lalala lala*..If u leave my life, I'm better off dead..but if u wanna shoW, just let me know and I'll sing In yoUr ears Again..The drUgz dOn't worK buT I'll Know I'll see your face AgaiN." *A MusIc For My moMent of Peace*..*BacK to reaLity*...I am listening to the guitar solo of the biG tIme Hit "HOtel California"..the Music Is so Hypnotizing..I love it since I was In primary SchooL..ClasSic Stuff Mann..I am reaLLy tired of hearing my lecturer nags..if i gotta gun..I blast him to God know's where. Ahhh...been sometime I had a heck of a good game of soccer with my bunch of bush wackers..mann, I reaLLy miss it..damN..more then the "Bugedel" in school.LoL..Mum Burst my Plastic soccer ball(more like Hilman's) which I usually play with Hilman(my little bro)..mann..Life's cruel man..didn't she realizing how agonizing it is for me just to sit and watch soccer games without it...boHoho..weLL..I'm sorry that I broke that MirroR la..I was tryIng for a RObertO carloS frEekick..now I will just sit on the couch and watch soccer and b a fat dumb aSs. WeLL, I am geTtin tired here..sO this is thE last Study WeeK..YeaH!!! thEn sTudy Break!! Then exammmsssss....sss...haizzz...I always hope this part would hav a hapy endin..BAh! wAKda Hell..I ain't let that spoIL my plans for this Week end..Mamat's SmaLL is CelebratiNg his BirThday YAll..we gonna CrasH it this weeKend~! WeLL..Just Hope I'll b back soOn ..SheesH I am SufferiNg froM Mediorce MeMorY Loss by the dAy..ExceSsive SmokinG of MarijUaNa..LoL..Peace out VaTo~!

*ProTecT me FRom What i WaNt~~~~~~~placebo*

2004-08-24T04:30:00.000+08:00

Hola Senyor ~!
Life....we can never escape from the troubles, the stress, and yeah....the tests and exams...the worst part of my life...I always get worked up during these period..so apologise me if i suddenly get all moody and shitz..yeaH..and baby...I am sorry from the deepest depths of my heart..i didn't mean those words..i realised how sharp and painful it might been towards you..but only after i heard u cried over the phone.. I guess that's to late to take back my words...I was frustrated with myself and am sorry I didn't tell u..i tried to kept on my smile..I tried to be happy..I don't want u to worry for me, I want to see u happy..but when everything isn't going my way..I felt helpless..I was lost..and I don't know..I just want the best for u..I tried telling u plenty of times..but when u decided to oppose my decision, I suddenly felt so unappreciated, i felt the crampness and the thoughts on my mind suddenly went hay-wire..then I got mad and I let out my anger on u...i didn't mean to baby..it's not ur fault..it's mine..I don't know how to make it up to u..i kneel for ur forgiveness..u don't have to ask for my forgiveness since u have not done me any wrong..it's my fault all along..I just want it to be perfect..guess my perfect ain't perfect at all..I just need to b alone sometimes..

Well mate..lots of things have been happening lately..let me recall..hrmm..yeah...my Little bro, Hilman, turned 8 last 14th...yeah..went to the zoo to celebrate his birthday..LoL..as he wanted so much to see those animals..I love to watch him grow..and yeah..he reminds me so much of me..LoL..yupz..then been spending my study break meeting my sweetheart..I just can't stay away from her..yupzz..then, slept late playing computer & PS2 games..instead of studying..then waking up in the afternoon and evenings..hehe..yeah..cool..i loike..i can be such a game freak..one thing i never get tired since i was a kid..LoL..yeah..Then I went J.B with wan, bought AVP & Garfield..hehe..AVP is cOOl mann..i wish I can be a predator when i feel like...and go and hunt anyone who is lame enuff to be my prey..lol..if u like the previous predators & alien collections, i recommend u the movie..Well, still haven't watched Garfield..coz my sunshine is threatening me not to watch..keke..nvm..been sometime too i went to the movies..hehe..yeaH, went to zouk that day..was OK , the drinking part was fun...had shots of Vanilla Absolute VOdka, Beer, Champange..yeah..keke..and more of booze..yeah..and not forgetting the regular fans who offer me drinks on the dancefloor..lol..and yeah...my friend, Shasha was there...said she saw me twice..but I can't even smell her..LOL..mayb i should go for an eye Check..Yeah, my mum birthday is just around the alley, on the 25th..and i think with my only 25 bucks, i will get her a cake & flowers..hehe..sweet ain't I? My atm card got swallowed by the fcuking atm machine at town...dumb..now i gotta go tru the trouble making a new one...ass...hey...kinda early, i need to go to bed..got my first paper tomorrow at 1.30pm..wish me luck yall...cheerz~!

2004-08-10T00:00:00.000+08:00

Bon Jovi

<><><><><><><>

"Always"

~~~~~~~

This romeo is bleeding

But you can't see his blood

It's nothing but some feelings

That this old dog kicked up

~~~~~~~~

It's been raining since you left me

Now I'm drowning in the flood

You see I've always been a fighter

But without you I give up

~~~~~~~~

Now I can't sing a love song

Like the way it's meant to be

Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore

But baby, that's just me

~~~~~~~

And I will love you, baby - Always

And I'll be there forever and a day - Always

I'll be there till the stars don't shine

Till the heavens burst

and The words don't rhyme

And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind

And I'll love you - Always

~~~~~~~~

Now your pictures that you left behind

Are just memories of a different life

Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry

One that made you have to say goodbye

What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair

To touch your lips, to hold you near

When you say your prayers try to understand

I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

~~~~~~~~

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near

When he says the words you've been needing to hear

I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine

To say to you till the end of time

~~~~~~~~

Yeah, I will love you baby - Always

And I'll be there forever and a day - Always

~~~~~~~~

If you told me to cry for you

I could

If you told me to die for you

I would

Take a look at my face

There's no price I won't pay

To say these words to you

~~~~~~~~~

Well, there ain't no luck

In these loaded dice

But baby if you give me just one more try

We can pack up our old dreams

And our old lives

We'll find a place where the sun still shines

~~~~~~~~~

And I will love you, baby - Always

And I'll be there forever and a day - Always

I'll be there till the stars don't shine

Till the heavens burst and

The words don't rhyme

And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind

And I'll love you - Always

~~~~~~~~

2004-08-09T23:14:00.000+08:00

Hola~!

It being some time i had a good laugh...a sense of satisfaction...a sense of justice..well..I am talking about the "Singapore Idol" on channel 5 . It was wicked...i just love the responses given by the judges...its just so honest..so naked and I like it..It might be cruel..but face it matez..if u ain't got it...accept the fucking fact and be glad that someone is kind enough to be truthful to u..or u will continue making a crap out of yourself..LoL..If u had watch the show..mayb that weird guy in yellow underwear would have make it if he had worn red...LoL..in support of National Day...and that guy who sing but it seem that something is wrong with his volume output..LoL..the girl with noisy earrings..the shanghai dude...kwakwakwa..he's really trying to make his trip from shanghai worthwhile...LOL...my favourite joker for today was the "Lemon Tree" dude...KwaKwaKwa...Mann...how i wish i could join the judges in the judging...would b nicceeee...*grinzz*...just giving a thought, I wonder y some of them would even consider going for the audition...could b they want to know where they stand? Just to be a part of Sg Idol? To get cheap publicity? Nothing better to do? Well, whatever it is...i really have to give u guys credit for trying...and giving me a hell of a good laugh..can't wait for the "banana man"...LoL...what the hell was he thinking? could u imagine ur next SG Idol to be a "banana man"? It's sure gonna b a blast~! Yeppa~!

2004-08-06T18:00:00.002+08:00

The Rasmus

<><><><><><>

"First Day Of My Life"

~~~~~~~~~

Feel like I'm stoned

Wanna be alone,

Just for a while, unknown

Weeks on the road a long way from home

Just shut off the phone.

~~~~~~~~~~

And you say I'll heal you,

I'll always be yours

And you say I'll kill you if I do something wrong

Yeah, yeah, yeah ,yeah, yeah, yeah.

~~~~~~~~~~

Still feels like the first time

To stand here by your side

Together regardless

We'll walk through the darkness

Still feels like the first day of my life

~~~~~~~~~~.

Remember the times

Together we swore, never give up this life

Still hanging on, still going strong

Here I belong.

~~~~~~~~~~

And maybe I'm crazy

But I just can't slow down

And maybe I'm crazy

But at least I'm still around

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Still feels like the first time

To stand here by your side

Together regardless

We'll walk through the darkness

Still feels like the first day of my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Feels like the first day of my life,

(Feels like the first day)

Still feels like the first day of my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Still feels like the first time

To stand here by your side

Together regardless

we'll walk through the darkness

Still feels like the first day of my

Still feels like the first day of my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2004-08-03T01:32:00.000+08:00

Hola ppL~!

Wow...been sometimes aye...just been busy..balancing the piles of school work & LIFE . Let's see, where should I start....Firstly Sunshine...it's been 8 wonderful moments we share the full moon together...Through this journey of love . I can never repay the love u showered me with..i can never buy the experiences we went through together with and i can forgive myself if i hurt u . If I would get a rose for every time I think of you, I would spend every day in a rose garden thinking of u. Your smile is like a rose which speaks of love silently in a language known only to the heart. Its incredible how u taught me to love again and it never ends. It's one lesson i will never get tired of. Cherish u sweetheart.

Rite Rite Rite..errmm...let make everything brief..coz if not..i will write a novel down here..Marco V & Godskitchen at Zouk was marvellous~! Cheerz to one of the best D.Js in the world. Then comes school...the usual thing every week...the piling tonnes of asignments & quizzes..arrGhh..the yapping lecturers...yada yada yada~! Shut uP will ya~! sometImes i wish i can make my lecturers dumb whenever they wanna start yapping..keke..would b fun..Right~~Then was Centro...went alone to feel the feeling of loneliness..well..its not bad..a feeling of independance but kinda lonely too..hehe..until i came across some mates in there..LoL..then enrolled for my Car License but still haven't done the basic theory yet...kwakwa...there's just too little time for so many things...been wasting alot of enjoyable time playing online games like Ragnarok, Shattered Galaxy, Uthopia & the list goes on. Hrmm...yeah..went to zouk that day and damn was a raid..shockingly..i was with my shades on jiggy ard the dance floor..when the bright lights come on and the music abruptly stopped..and I was lucky number one to be picked by the home clothes CNB officers...Hey...wasn't my fault..he was rudely giving me the "up-down" stare...i stare back ah...and i give him a welcoming smile...keke...I guess he didn't appreciate the smiling part ..LoL..hrmm..yeah..since then my clubbing is put on a momentary hold..then put more time on studies to catch up but still i am trailling behind and 3 more weeks to CT..then, on a unplanned day...my sugar n I spent a memorable time..we walked from the dirty creepy horny streets of geylang to kallang to the Esplanade~! wow..a 1 hour + walk..its kinda cool..walking together n sharing our thoughts n stories of life together..and without knowing it...we end up at eSplanAde~! but there some stretch along the path which is kinda creepy n i feel uneasy..i have this thing of feeling and yeah..LoL..let not creep myself out...Damn my eyes are getting heavier by the minute...i been tired of school...sometimes i feel so sick of it..but it my future and i try harder each time but always something will vice versa it..aRgghh..well..there's alot more that i went tru the moments of my disapperance..like shopping & all kinda stuffz..get to know this bubbly, cute & funny girl from school..LoL..been sometime i let loose like my old self..been trying to b that good guy lately, school, family, my gf and i tink i deserve a break...sometimes i sit and ponder..why i do all those things i do..and i am still pondering..lost in time, going ard doing things my way like i don't care what they think or say, living in my own world away from worries, problems and truth...but always..reality hit me..there's no escape..well...i tink i'll babbel some other day or i will b one sorry debarred ass...hehe...hrmm..i tink i wanna come up with a photo album as soon as i developed my pics...so wait aight ppl..i will get a great one coming up~! Some actions to make the world a brighter place..."Save Water, Drink Beer"..."Don't Drink & Drive, Pop n Fly"..."Save The Trees, Eat a beaver today" ....LoL....kekeke....well cheerz mate~!

2004-07-06T01:06:00.000+08:00

A Memo In My Life~!

Aye Aye Aye My Little Lovelies~!

Been really busy lately with yeah..fitting back to the busy and hectic life in school..aHa..some newbies chickies in my school are a real hot bunch..arghhh..hehe..so yupz..still haven't settled my time table yet as i had made a few amendments to it. Thuz, my time-table is a bit crazy rite now..haha..I don't even noe when i finish tommorrow..mayb i end it myself at 2pm..hehe..Yeah yeaH Yeah..pEepz have been asking how my trip goes..

Nothing beats watching the beautiful sun sets on the clear wide blue horizon..the nature is so beautiful..and yeah..that's not all..try imagining u r say.."MaO"..hahahaIII..laughing ur worries away as u smoke ur life away..as the sun fell over the horizon..u r served with delicious and i mean DamN delicious thai Sweet and sour Fish with chiLLi squid, spicy thai sauce..it's a meal u will come back for more..and smoothing down the throat will b a glass of cooling watermelon juice..Tummy fulled and the sun have successfully set beatifully again..as it nvr failed to..uv lighting switched on and lamps are lit..we lit another joint with a special kick..the great feeling kicked in and u just feel like u wanna lay down and watch the wide sky lit by the dazzling sparkling stars surrounding the cresent moon..all the beautiful things in the world just flood ur mind and u just can't seem to help but smile at the wonders of god..and u feel so good to be alive at the moment..

Tiredness gave in and u retreat to the comfort of ur bungalow to continue the beautiful dreams u are going to live..The next night..Hit the beach..chill with a bottle of cool beer just stroll along the white sandy beach..beautiful ladies lay topless on the beach chasing the perfect tan..plans arised and we took a 10 minute boat ride to an smaller island..we smoked it pure..feeling good..we head down a real rocky beach..it's tough..but the reward was magnificent..a beauty to be behold..to be never forgotten..a small cave along a rocky shore..instead of sand..we had small dried white corals on our feet..laying down on it makes u feel so distant..from the real hectic urban world..the crashing waves slamed against u as u tend to balance on the smooth rocky surface..fishing for squids have been never easier..another exhausting walk and u find urself in a more relaxed shoreline..more serene waves..the water was shallow for 100 metres offshore..it's so clear that if u stay still..u can see fishes swimming around leg..and to my amazement..a beautiful yellow pufferfish..the size of a cletch fist..swim rite beside my leg..its a once in a lifetime experience..as the evening sets in..we retreat back to the main island of phangan..back to the bungalow and another majestic dinner..full, we wash up and head down to had rin for a nite out of beach clubbing..since no major moon party going on..the crowd is moderate at 2am local time..while more are watching the Euro 2004 games at the Drop-In Bar..I was feeding my ears with the sweet melody of house music at the Big Boom Bar..with a bucket of local samsong mixed with coke and red bull..it's just spike ur mind and u feel like dancing..Then The party went on and u just have to b there to noe it as words can't describe everything..It good but not as good as the one back then in December..that was crazy party back then in december..people are never friendlier and getting laid was no hassle at all if u got what it takes..for me..at a difficulty of 1-10...i give 1/2...LoL..at 6-7am in the morning..the crowd start to dispearse..as we watch the sun proudly rise behind the hills..we head for bed..and the other nights are just as great as before..

Itz just a raver paradies..one for the party people..the kind who knows what real fun is all about and hang loose to the nature's gift of herbs, mushrooms and yeah...LoL..u 'll noe what i am talking about someday SOn..So cheers mate..and Bangkok?? well..nothing much except the busy shopping scene..streets peddlers, tons of night market, Lambretta scootering the alley and Honda truimps making their entrance royally..Nite clubs and strip clubs are boring to me..prostitution for the sad unsocialable people are available..pubs for some drinks..yeah..and the usual city life of thugs, underground scenes and all...its a place i can call my resort from Singapore.

Cheers mateZ...to...No WorrIes~!

2004-06-27T19:31:00.000+08:00

Oui OuI OuI ~!

ScHooL starTs TommOrrOw~!! FucKing Shit~! I was expecting another week of holiday...bloody bastards..waTz the HurrY fuckErz..Can't u see I need my holiday~!!! ARGHhhhh..I just got back from Thailand..and I haven't even spend my time with my sunshine..she's on her way back from K.L..safe journey baby..I am still tired from my trip..i am not prepared at all to start school..and yeah..since I fucking failed my 2 subjects last semester...my time-table is going to b one fucking tight one..ending at 5pm for 4days..and the earliest is at 4pm..and yeah..i am taking two maths module..crapp~! I think i should change time-table and takes things slow here..or i will drive myself crazy..7 or issit 8 modules ??? HeLL..I will have no life..and yeah..I need somebody right now..i am so down with this..for a moment I was having a great time in Thailand..and when i get back here..things suddenly sucks..I can't even get to see my baby till mayb next week...fuck..ARhhhh...fcuking hang loose..mayb I need a smoke..think of how i resolve this..then talk with my beloved mum..then yah..everything will b fine..NO wORries MaTe~!

2004-06-12T18:52:00.000+08:00

The Original Lost raver

Alone, make my entrance to ****..chiLL at *******'s bar..Double pour of bourbon coke..Lychee Mariachi & Vodka Lime smooth down mY throaT..open a conversation with tiz Israel girl..to kiLL the time away waitiNg for my MateZ..A bottle of Baron with a spite of redbUll..Arrived finally,they bottled up some more of the locally brewed Tiger..I was feeling Noice..ready to hit the dance floor..Then that was the moment..I shulden't have accept it..but regretfully I did..got fifteen..i bite..the bitterness was too much and i puked some..soBered sunddenly..so in the chase for satisfaction..i asked for another fifteen..with a touch of our trademark of brotherhood..we make our way to **** confident for a great nite..the tribal music was pumping..my blood was rushing..heartbeat accelerating..it didn't take long..It was good..too good..I know something is amist..I was so thirsty..I head to get some drinks..the more i drink..the more thirstier i got..I need some air..i head out..vision dimmed and doubled..i was trippin..my eyes were playing tricks on me..it didn't stop rising..In another 5..i was experiencing the climax..My eyes..its scary..i know i can't risk hanging around there any longer..i can't even walk straight..i was alone..confused, I head for the cab..head home..I shut my eyes in the cab..hoping everything will b fine and it will go down..But no..I was still in my trip..the cab seemed to b travelling so fast..i felt stuck to the seat..but when i open my eyes..it was slow..seemed like 80..i closed back my eyes..streets light are hurting my eyes..i try to control it..but instead..it control me..I was Lost..Tiz was not what i planned..Reached my place..it was stil early..ard 2.30am..i can't walk straight..i can't think straight..even lighting a cigarette seemed so hard..heartbeat was racing..i feel as if it could stop anytime..my head was spinning inside..tiz was wrong..tiz is overdosed..i was frozen..can't move..i just can shut my eyes..i needn't to be home..but my movement was like the matrix..it's true..my movement was unnaturally slow and suddenly fast..the momentum was crazy..i was going bonkers..i light my cigarette..I smoked 5 puffs and it was left with fliter..my mind was slow..i shut my eyes for a while..when i opened..its 4 am...I make my way to my door..i have to b strong..i was thirsty..i was exhausted..It was a mistake..I wasn't the person I used to be..I wasn't the raver I was..I was a few more pills to being dead..

I wear my sunglasses at night so i can so i can watch you even breathe your story, lies...I wear my sunglasses at night so i can so i can keep track of vision in my eyes..don't massacarate with the guys in shades oh no..don't massacarate with the guys in shades oh no..don't massacarate with the guys in shades oh no......

Sorry Baby
Peace Out~

2004-06-11T05:08:00.000+08:00

Hey peepoLes~!

Apologies for my disappearance..I just went off to seek some peace in this hectic life..Things are currently ain't that bright for me..Somehow..I feel tired,exhausted of my Life..I ain't talking bout suicide..but bout tiz feeling inside..i feel so dead..Well some events really make it worse and I feel more saddened..firstly..Remember the entreprenuership camp thingy I was talking about? Yeah..I went and it is a fucking lame one..and while I was there..I got news that my grandfather passed away..on the 25th of May 2004..and like my grandmother's passing..i was overseas..but tiz time..I was just across the border and my aunt & uncle picked me up ard 3 a.m . The moment I reached my grandfather's place...I saw all the sore face due to the tears shed..I washed up and sit bside my late grandfather and offer him some prayers..I was holding back my tears..I stayed up all the while till the burial..when I kissed the cheeks and forehead of my late grandfather for the last time..he got this glow on him..he feel so cool..Though..my tears were shed later..I realise that's how I will b when my time comes..well..may god bless his soul..Goodbye for now..

Then my results..haIzzz..It's my worst yet performance..i never failed two subjects before..LoL..yeah..and I wasn't that surprise only disappointed at myself. I don't know y...but I am sick & tired of school..I need a break..a long break to replenish myself..yeah..and time table out..and i gotta squeeze 2 more subjects in..damnn..It really gives me headaches even before school reopens..and yeah..I miss the fullmoon party..due to some shitz in school..

It's been 6 beautiful months spending my life with a wonderful girl whom I Lurve...yeah..she is patient with me..tru my crazy mood swings..she been there with me..comforting me with her soft touch & soothing words..Baby..I cherish everytime I get to see u smile..to hear u laugh..to feel the warmth of your hug and feel the magical feeling when we kiss..Nothing can buy that..u are my priceless gift from heaven..and if anything is to take you away from me..I will be so lost without u..sunshine..u are my life..there is no one in this world who can love me like u do...babY,we had our fun and we make mistakes..and along that road we learn to give and take..u gave me even more than i could ever dream of and u make loving u so easy for me...Sweetheart..with u by my side..never will i feel so loved..u r my angel..love ya lotz magarita..

2004-05-22T05:56:00.000+08:00

Hye Yall..

Been a while since I update tiz bloggin Thing..Well I've been beezEEee with some stuffz..To start off..After all tiz time..I don't know y..but there's tiz creepy feeling of depression, boredom, confusion and anger in me..I just can't seem to cheer up myself..I kept on thinking..of nothing..I feel so down at times and yet I don't know the reason..I just can't seem to find it..it seem that not everyday is a sunny day aye..I been sleeping aLOt as that is the only way I can stop thinking..I catch a movie "Shrek 2" with my beloved baby..itz funny..Then watched "Troy" and "Ju-on 2" on the VCd..Nicee..I lOike~though "Ju-On 2" is a tricky one..I solve the mystery and get to understand it..hrmm been to J.B plenty of time to top up my CiggI supply..almost every morning ard 2am..with my couz..then eat the Tom Yam and some other nOice food..Haiizzz..I am so damn broke..and I feel pissed off with my luck these past few days..Firstly..I wanna go zouk as Dave Seaman will b the guest DJ..that is so gonna b good..But Shuut..I ain't got the greenz..that's so painful mann..and tiz is not the end of it..I was planning on a break to Thailand, Bangkok & then Koh Phangan on the 28th may til 11th june..I just yearn for my paradies after all the hardships..I need a break..I wanna feel the Full Moon Rave..But Damn..I got to noe I failed my Maths module and noe I got to go to Summer School..and guess what..itz on the 28th may til 11th June...wat the hell..fate just don't let me go..I am so tired..tired of studying..at least give me some peace here will ya..oo God..weell..I take tiz as a blessing..let see wat come out of tiz..and yeah..I still haven't sleep and I can't sit home knowing my guys are hitting zouk and i am rotting at hm..ain't doing me any good..At first, I was reluctant to go to my school Entreprenuership Camp at J.B from 22th-25th May...but I guess..that's my last resort..Fuck..I am sure tired..I just guess I will go and take a break..but I don't feel like going..coz the teachers and the other students seem so geeky and boring..I can't communicate..it freaks me out knowing I will be spending 4 days and 3 nights with yall...Gawd~! whaT have I done to deserve tiz..the rules stink..u can't do tiz, u can't do that..Fuck ya..wat the hell do I care..Rules are meant to be broken anyway..yeah..cheers~!I tink I going to have my own fun..u guys can be boring..lol..but I ain't gonna let that happen to me..well gtg matez..I so don't want to know..but something in me is telling me to go..I guess I'll go with that..Peace Out vato~! And sUnshine, Gonna miss ya hot stuff..take care aight while I'm away..study aight for ur Examz..aight..Hugz and kisses..Ciao~

2004-05-13T16:14:00.000+08:00

YeaHhhH~!

where sHouLd I start..I am currenTly lost in tiMe..Alot have beeN happEninG but I don't feel as if much happend though..ErmmmmMM..hit centRo on Saturday..SPent My day restIng on SundaY..yupzz..Then on monday..I was awaken by a call and it's sunshIne..she was crying and told me her handphone got stolen..i felt so helpless...i was in bed and I just feel that I can't to get it back..damn..I hate that feeLing..yah..baby's all afraid that mama will scold her..well..it's just ain't your day..I am sure, if you are truthful and u're in the right..god will sent his angels to protect ya..and yeah..I will be by your side no matter wat..well,her mum just laughed at her being so carelesss..and cracking jokes non-stop..LoL..yeah..That night go to a chalet at sentosa..some girl's birthday party..It was a big upset..i was hoping for some hell of a good time..but duH~! it was lame~I and the guys r like the only ppl who noes how to have fun dwn there..the other's..just slacking ard..sitting & talking abt wat sia??? LoL..if only that was our chalet..we will transform it into a massive rave party..its a perfect spot..isolated..big..yeah..errr..yeah..had too much to drink and I guess..and me feelin so bored and not partyin when I was damn high..I became Lost..I can't remember anything after that..but here's what my friends told me..I was sitting alone outside the chalet and was smoking when i suddenly softly cried to myself..Hisham said he noticed that and he brought me to the beach to talk..what's that all about?? I am not sure..then..he said instead of getting better..i got more worse..I started talking rubbish..and I kicked the coconut tree..so hard that it shook..my other friends came to calm me dwn..they said..i seemed possessed..kicking the tree so hard and it seem i didn't feel anything coz i kept on kicking it like for wat..a few minutes..then when i stopped..i acrobaticly kicked a hut and land on my feet...incredible hUh?? and I broke my snake-bone handlet and throw it into the sea..i broke aPit's gold necklace..and I went into the sea..the guys stop me..it took three person to pull me out..?? shytezz..then after some more stuffz..i don't know..I suddenly asked them to go back to the chalet..because "I" say that I wanna go home? yeah..then I sat quietly outside for a moment..then I go inside and sleep..the next morning I woke up...i didn't realise anything until i was swimming when i realised where's all my handletz on my right hand? and I got tiz funky pain on my leg..then they told me...DaMN..i was shocked by wat I did..What The Fuck was That all About??? They said I drank alot..but I nvr LosT myself tiz bad..I can't remember one thing..I swear..what happened?? LoL..i am truly sorry guys..and thankful..coz if u guys ain't there..i will be what? drowned in sea? Fuck...yeah..next morning hanG-over was fucked-up..i was thirsty like hell..my eyes barely open..i was like a walking dead...Aight Yall...gotta ScraM..late seeing my baby..cAluT~!

2004-05-08T04:14:00.000+08:00

Ola Senyor~

A great day for me...Firstly..had my programming paper at 9am...woah...I was Like what..25 mins late? kwakwakwa...but yeah..no surprise to the invigilators..Damnn...I gotta get rid of this diesea..but beside that...the paper was managable..hoping to score..hopefully lah..ain't expecting much..Yeah..then..met sunshine today..WooWee..really made my day aight..sorry baby i was late..hehe..I feel asleep and woke up at 5.30..when i supposed to b at bishan MRT at 5.15...Holy shits..I really scewed up this time..and she gave me the "sour", long face when i arrives..awww...where's the usually warm smile?? Well...don't blame her..i feel like reversing the time..and waking up back on time..darn..I am really sorry..i didn't mean to..Then yeah..head to town..the first is to get food~! Had dinner at cahaya...kinda a surprise to see the guys..some matez from sec sCh..Mannn..how i missed them..wacky bastards...haH~ well just happy to see them..thou can't stick ard much...coz today basically just me and my baby..i put aside zouk for tonight..waddup with the alternate week schdule baby??? Arghhh...now i got a time-table huh? LoL.....Yeah...Hamdan..getting rounder everytime I see him..to tink of it..he was part of the youth national soccer team..Hah~his tummy seemed as if he's like wat..3 mths pregnant...kwakwa..but he's still the funny Blacky...LoL..Then Haiqal's back after his long disapperance..Shahril, being more reserved now i see..more mature..mayb getting into relationships change some ppl..Ahmad & Fazli..haha...Nothing changed..the the same plain old guys I noe from way back then..Then the guys go n "NgaK"...watever ah Li..Fazli code for booziNg~! And I kept getting it wrong.."NgoK" & "Ngek"...LOL..somehow I feel i am getting stupidier by the day..and yeah.."stupidier" doesn't even exist...sTUpid! weLL..i am original..~and yeah..met some weird ppl who i don't recognised and they claim to know me..haHaha..then I and Baby get busy with each other..LoL..daMnn...shagged..then catch our mid-night movie at cineleisure..YeAh..Van HelsiNg...GreaT~!!..Love the Effects and the storyline..WicKEd~!...hehe..i was concentrating on the movie and B, u so noisy ah..kekeke..sorry..I was too engrossed..Woah..and next on my list is Troy..Then..yeah..while at Orchard MRT.. walking her to the bustop..Zaki and Salleh spotted me from across the street...LoL...wtf u two doing at twn at that time..so unlike them..wakakaka..yeah..Thou I am Darn Tired today..I really am feeling on the clouds..Exam's Over..cleared our shytez..and now, I can put sch aside for quite some time...RItttteeeeeeeeee~!

2004-05-06T05:20:00.000+08:00

Hey LokO...Wat are you lOokin at EssE~

kekeke..kinda going Bonker lately...my luck is from bad to worst..first...i ain't damn prepared for exams and i am just doing all I can to stay alive..trying to steal every mark I can..LoL..Yeah..Then..my laptop craSHed again...the second time to be exact..and tiz is worst than the first time..this time..it won't even run..it just turn on and the screen went blank..It just happened just now..my Little 7 yrs old Boo, Hilman, called me and said my computer can't on..he was playing some games when it went Hay-wire..Damn..I can't blame him...he's so innocent..daRN..stUpid LapTop~! FucK~! Y must you get corrupted at tiz time..I need to study for my ProGRammIng Paper on Friday~!!! That's my only paper I am hoping and can score...ArGhhh..now..i got nothing..my marks sure gonna stink..Haaizzz..I will just do my best without my laptop then...*There must be a blessing behind all these happenings...*

YeaH..just got back from J.B with my couz...just got 150 buckarooz...reached J.B ard 3am...had supper at tiz so called "restaurant"..kinda dark..can't even see my Tom Yam Mee properLy..But YeaH..The Tom Yam was a Killer..I drank the soup Dry..and yeah..the Waitress girl...fUhhh..she is friendly and cute..and she tends to disturb us..tease and tease...you noe those malaysian girls..hahahaiiiI~! Then circled ard J.B..disturbing those BapOkz...kwakwakwa..got tiz one girl-girl..haha..sang a kaoraoke song while I was eating...her voice make me choked over my prawn...paNtat~! kwakwaka...the voice seem to come out of her or is it his...Nose..."Sengau"..yupz..then get 2 packets of ciggies..few packets bubblegum, a delicious Tom Yam supper and a leather wallet..haha...all for 20 bucks...cOol~

2004-05-03T04:44:00.000+08:00

Usher's
"Burn"

[Intro]
I don't understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn

[Verse 1]
It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think you're gonna change
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn

[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
Been knew it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

[Verse 2]
Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same find myself
Callin' her your name
Ladies tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back
Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my booo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)

[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn (let it burn, let it burn, you gon'learn)
Let it burn (gotta let it burn)
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know its best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
Been knew it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

[Bridge]
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)

[Breakdown]
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh oooh
Ooh ooh oooh (can ya feel me burnin'?)
Ooh ooh ooh oooh ooh oooh

So many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return

[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
Been knew it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

This song really have a deep meaning in my love life..well..my past thou'..with tiz girl of my past..I am sorry for her and for myself..it was mistake..but sometimes..you can't tell your heart who to love..it chooses for you..it always get broken by a girl and mended by another..sometimes..i was all twisted and lost bcuz of love..its a whole different thing that makes you put aside differences, making sacrifices and lots of wonderful decors and memories to your life..It might b a beautiful thing..but every rose got it's torn..it peirced real deep aight..DamNn..But that's the past...Today I have lived my 5 wonderful months with my sunshine..We been tru upz and dwn together..I've always been there for her..and she have sacrificed alot for me..it's all about give and take..learning from each other's mistake..I hope tiz journey would be an everlasting road to heaven baby...I'll always Love u, Respect u, Treat u for the person u are..Thank god for sending me an angel..you're part of the reason to so many success I have over my obstacles in life..

*Lots of hugs and kisses*

2004-05-03T04:03:00.000+08:00

Ola~

WaddUp yaLL..currently I am taking a break after 3 hours studying my D.E..well..today's the paper at 2pm.
Aight..Let's see where have I been and what have I been doing..Well..On thursday, 29th April..Had my Engineer maths 2 paper..WeLL..mayb I will be seating for this paper again..not well prepared aight..but just pray for the better..Riteee..then Izah came dwn to my place to do her ProJect..I kinda pity her for doing all the job beside considering its a group work..Well..where is the team work..well if I am her..It will be mine proJect..no extras aight..its just not fair..buT God blessed her with a kind heart..but it's sad to see people taking advantage of someone kindness..Errmm..yeah...and on Friday..Head dwn Zouk with the Guyz..everything was coOl till a few stinkin Matz and miNaz were lost and somehow got to zouk..well..Apek was dancing with his friend when somehow their stupid brain thought Apek was picking up their Bitches? WTF...well..from their not-so-cool pose, they start showing off their so-the-obit dance steps with the infamous fanning hand..kwakwa..and circling Apek and getting aggressive..weLL, We noticed what's going on..and we showed them aight...tiz ain't sparkx you asswipes..and as sudden as they come..they go..LoL..YupZ..then mY dad got back frm weLL, where-else,
Thailand..Then on Friday..the whole familia went to have seafood at Johor..Tanjong Piai..weLL..Quite a Delicious Seafood Feast..considering we're hungry frm the journey..Yeah..Then got to Angsana..tried out indoor archery..had no idea it was kinda co0L..nearly hit a bull's-eye on my 3rd shot..ermm..yeah..there's one thing I noticed..the malaysian..will give us a different look or glance...as if we are hrmm..different..I feel the poking eyes everytime..and in Thailand too..what's with it..is it our fashion? Our attitude? Our language? Or Wat??? Sometimes I wish I could read minds...LoL..Yeah..Dad's not letting me to take a bike license at the moment.."You want a faster death or being disabled issit??"...Well I just want to live my dream of a Classic Bike..I don't want any fast ones..
and it's a good thing i can squeeze my way tru the traffic on the peak hours...wOohoo..so I can get to School in time..but yeah...he offered me a Car License..But how can I afford a CaR?? "When You got the license, then we can talk abt getting for a car" and "I will pay for it while you're schooling, and you take over once you start work".....Woahhh...that really inspire me for a car..but i somehow wanna start off with a bike..I am damn Sho' the car will cost a bomb..mantainance, fuel, parking, repairs, insurance...FcuK~~! ....but let put that aside...how about a Mini Coopper...erMm..Mazda Mx-7? SkyLine? Hoooo...i am confused of choice...khekhe...well tink step-by-step..I need a car license..hrrmmm..gonna get enrolled as soon as Exams are over..Yuppzz..I wanna get a car before the end of this year..if possible..***VrooOmmm***VrOooOmmm***

2004-04-26T19:15:00.000+08:00

BooYaKaa~

WaddUp vato...hua~! Kinda Lame lately..coz my Examz are comIng...ArgGhh..WeLL..gotta start studying soon mate..kwakwa..wEll..my birthday celebration was fun..I kinda touched by the thoughtful people I have ard me..Thankz guys...Thou...didn't party that hard coz I was feeLing kinda drained of energy..but It was cOol..WeLL..It seems that I ran out of new ideas to entertain myself...hrrmm..kinda Dark outside as It's gonna raIn soon..I am like waiting to hear the first few drops of the raiN and just ran down and SinG and raN ard In the RaiN...kekeke..."I am SinGinG In The RaIn"..LoL..It been sometime I played in the rain...LoL..mayB i need to let loose as I feel so tight with all those schedule and thoughts that Is weigthing me down...ERggH..yeah..I can't wait to catch Van HelsIng..it must be good..been waiting since when? how abT FeBuary? March? woaH..I love the Monsterous EffeCt and It jusT ExcItes me..I alwaYs got ThiS WiLd FanTasY of BecoMing A vaMpirE..kwakwakwa..And I wIll be on ThE ProWL everYnight~~

2004-04-23T18:59:00.000+08:00

HaPpY BirThdaY tO Me~! HaPpY BirThDaY tO Me~!

Hey WaddUP yaLL~! My daY have Been GreaT so Far...CaTch a Movie...Dawn Of The Dead yesterday with Moi Sunshine, Prazzo and Our Kick Ass "HeRo" Mel...kwakwakwak...paronoid kid...heheehe..fuNny girl..keke...So yeah..the movie was great..alot of fucking shocking moment..I was cursing my ass off...damn zomBies...tiz are more fierce than those In Resident Evil..YUpzz..
And Yeah..I lost my ToolBox...PanTaT! How careLess can I b...Its more that I forget to pick it up from Bukit Pangjang Int..damn...so...Just my Luck..Yupz..I am so Touched by those People who seem to make my day special with their wisHes and it's the thought that counts...WeLL..I wOuld Loike to saY A BIg Thank You to yoU woNderFul peopLe...kwakwa..CheeeRz~For Know..I am HeadIng To ZouK~! Cheerz mAtez!! ..............pUttinG on Those SunGlasses At Night~~peaCe OuT EssE~~

2004-04-21T22:52:00.000+08:00

Hola..

Looking at the bright side of Life..My bIrthdaY is Just 2 days away...WooWeee..My mUm bought me a new gadjet...a Nokia 7200...Woah..now I got something new to play ard..LoL..Thanz aGaiN Aight MuM..Love yeah Always..and yeah..LOike I said..I am so in the "can't be bothered" mood...keke..I don't care about my exams now..not yet...hehe..mayb after I celebrate my 18th birthday then can I finally put my thoughts aside and finally get dwn to studies...aRggHH...y must exams be ard my birthday...damnn..Well..for the past few days..I met up with my Sec school friends..Haha..makes me feel happy to get to spent some time with them..despite the hectic Schedule and all...Damn..sometimes I feel so suckY knowing I am a fuckiNg slacker when it comes to studies now...WHY? I used to be a hardworking and kinda top in my studies..now I am struggling to keep up with my studies..Sometimes..I feel as if no one understand my situation and I am all alone in this Life of mine..Yeah...Let me and me alone make it tru...Haizz..I am so in need of a miracle..

*Boom!*

2004-04-21T22:31:00.000+08:00

Boo~!

Hey Wat's Up YaLL..Haizz..I am so tired..Like as if I feel I am carrying tiz Terrible Load on my back eveRyday..just waiting to load it off my back..I don't what actually..but I am DamN sicK and Tired of it..Haizz..And Yeah..Examz peaking ard the corner..and while most hardworking peepz would b squeezing their brain juices by now as the first paper is Just 8 days away ... I don't know whether I am crazy, suicidal or just plain cOoL..I seem to be taking it damn too easy..WeLL..I made my decision to start studying and revising as soon as I settle some Sch Stuffz that I have been dragging till now...DaRN...I must learn from my mistakes..ermm..and to make matter worsT..Some Irritating lecturers keep on pastering me..I am confused on which one to start on first...Arrggghh..I like don't give a fuck anymore...wELL..I will give my best shot anyway..thou I know it's not my best anyway..but i am trying..Pls forgive ur forsaken son...mum,dad & God..I am still searching the person In me..I just hope after my examz, I will find peace in myself..Let it all out..and start afresh..I am so longing for a time out...from everything...If only I can go to my paradies now...the night silence..the wide open sea..the sparkling bright star scattered across the dark vast Sky...smoking it all away..thinking of everything yet feeling like I am thinking of nothing...remembering where I went wrong..Drowning it all away while the night passes....well..sometimes...life without problems isn't Life at aLL....

2004-04-15T19:57:00.000+08:00

*Bothered & Angered*

Ola MochaChosz~

Supposed to end class at 5 today and gotta Kid to teach today..but I sacrificed those for some time for those punks...weLL..I just want see them..how have they been doing...Just got back from twn after meetinG those Jackasses...reached twn at 1..had lunch of roti john...played PooL and cHilled and catch up with each other..heariNg the Downside of their relationships, giving them some advises..HaH~ Kinda creepy for me to say this..But I am purely filled with a sense of haPPiness to see some of my friends today..been like what? 3 mths? 4 mths since i met them? Well..I got my fair share of probz too..nothing much actually..just that the feeling is disturbing..I try to ignore it..but it just won't want to go away...weLL..something just didn't help.."Unreasonable?" "cAn do it Anytime??" and just by looking again at those BAstarDs disturbing messages just boil the blood in me..If i am to be my old rebellious self again...Those bastards better wished they never, ever cross my path....for their own sorry ass sake...Coz...HaH~Been A whIle I smaShed someone's face..but..though it's not right...It just give me a sense of SatiSfaction...Though I love peace and Fun and violence is my last resort..Dun push the Bull into one corner...Coz I won't hesitate to trample u dwn..Haiizzz..though how much I want to turn over a new person..Things that happened is making me think..alot of thinking...mayb i am better back then...Parties, Alcohol, Good Shitz, Girls, One Night Stands, Neon Lights, HaH~Alot of thIngs just way out of hand...LoL...but...Things I am having with her is just too Wonderful and swEet for me to leave behind..aNd knowing how much I will hurt her...Coz I will rather hurt myself then seeing her Hurt..it seems that I got Everything I need when I got her........weeLL..i just not sureee..a sense of insecure..the hope is beginning to fade..if i am gone...far away...how is it gonna b?? So...If u see me not taking much concern anymore...I don't want to see ur tears...seemed that my concern is being disregarded........so, I guess I was Unreasonable ..though I clearly thought Its natural for me to get angry and bothered..coz...u won't see it either...weLL..I am sorry...guess u are rite.....I Don't Wanna Know`

2004-04-14T03:08:00.000+08:00

Been a while...

Spent the past few days mostly with my dear...Went to town..Just strOll aloNg...haIz...how's time have change..Its not the same anymore..the way I use to hit town with my Homiez..we were So proud..so stroNg..Now it seems that we are going own ways..That's just life..NothIng lasts forever...yeaH..then after dInner and all..Head to Esplanade as I promised Izah an Ice-Cream Treat..had Haagen-daaz...keke..don't Mind the SpeLLing aye..woah~Noice Ice-creAm for a Price though...but once in a while..we should hang loose and treat ourselves after all those hard times aight...Yeah...then Moi dad got back from Thailand...just g0t himself an 0-2 handphone...or more of a pocket pc in palm style...mOi dad and his technology and electronics craziness...if I am not wrong...he bought and changed 3 palm topz already...and now...a new phone...he wanna give me that palm top of his...but..it just ain't my thing...the camera is also kinda weird...Hrrmmm..and I head dwn to seNtosa on Monday ..been some time since I had a good swim to the middle of the sea and head back to the shore...trying not to tink what might linger beneath me in the waterrrr...woOOhhooo..I have a wild Imagination u Noe...kekeke..Then..after that...we Get to my place...and yeah..I leave the imagination part to u...LoL..And skool is ending soon...and exams are approaching..and My Bdae Is Just ard The corNer...*hiNt* *hiNt*...yeah...and today I just do Fahmy's hair..hahaha..I can do wonders with colours..u bet I did a gooD job..Overally brown, Highlighted Ash and thin strips of blonde. And due to that..He wanna treat me cluBbin tiz saTurday...hahaha...Hrrmmmm...Called baby just now and heard she gotta Major blackout going on at Bukit Panjang and Choa Chu Kang at ard 1am just now...haha...kecoH..lighting up candles and start the manual Fanning...keke..WeLL..just finished my SchooL stuffz...and that comfY bed of mIne is caLLing out to me...weLL..temptations are hard to resIsts maTe.....GooDyyy NitEyy~!

*Wuosshhhhhhhhh*

2004-04-07T03:02:00.000+08:00

Hey Hey Hey!!!

Currently watchIng Arsenal and Chelsea game...Champions League..greaT...two well established clubz, great
players...They are putting on a real good show..both putting on their best displays...WoohOoo...errrr..damn..my throat is like killing me..I am having coughs..something weird bout these ones..this cough are like deep...I can feel my ribs expanding at every cough..and it kinda hurt..I try holding my breath to prevent coughing..LoL..weLL..I disposed alot of gooying flam..*disgusting*...greenish-yellow...ewww..but It's like a routine morning exercise now...spitting it out...LoL..but the worse is yet to come I feel...just 5 minutes ago...Coughing not getting any better beside eating my cough syrup..Then..I coughed out thick, reddish brown liquid...fUck..I freaked out for a while...then I realised I been doing much harm inside...SHiTZzz...kekeke..weLL...just hope nothing too serious...errrreee..well...gotta catch the game...I am putting ma money on Chelsea tonight...AiGht...Peace OuT~!

2004-04-07T02:17:00.000+08:00

I spent a thought for my sunshine..and I dedicate this to u sugar~

No matter How Hectic Life is..
I will spent a moment to ponder upon your picture..
Suddenly,all my worries seemed distant..
And all I think about is you and beautiful things in Life..

No matter How Tired I am..
I will wait for your call..
To tell me you have a GooD time and reached saFely home..
Then,can I finally rest..

No matter How depressed I am..
I will listen to your problems and your complex thoughts and feelings..
To know that I have cleared your doubts..
Then,will I find peace in myself..

Your sMile Gives me strength,
Making me Feel warm on cold and harsh times,
One of the most beautiful things I ever seen,
CausiNg a sense of happiness in me knowing that I made you smile,

Your Hugs brings me comfort,
A sense of belonging and being Loved,
Everytime you kiss me,
I feel the touch of an anGel,a beautiful maiden,

Your smoothing words are of the melody to my ears,
TouchiNg the deePest depths of my heart,
U seemed to be secretly putting the shattered pieces together,
Making it whole agaiN,

If Fate have brinG us Together,
I hope that It wIll Keep us Together...

Sunshine...you are so special to me..I am blessed to be loved by you..You Rock mY worLd in your
own crazy ways..Looking into your deep eyes just makes me melts..You are One of the greatest ThiNg that have happen in tiz Lifetime of Mine..I Love you for You..

2004-04-04T05:16:00.000+08:00

Heyyyy....
Kinda EarlY for mE to waKe up...weLL...I was shooken by another of those dreams..CreePy..Just the moment i woke up..walked into the living room and get a glass of coke and switched on the Tv..that when it struck me..i tuned to channel 23..and there's a boxing match going on...BAM! I been here before...In My Dreams ..DeJAVuu. Haizz..not sure whether tiz is a gift , a sign or just a burden. Well...going to the beach later..if the weather is fine..been sometime I rest my thoughts with the sound crashing waves. *blAnk* I been thinking lately...about nothing actually...just where am I actually going in tiz Life..I am uncertain with my studies..Like..Y the FucK am I studying Tiz n All?? But..yeah..too late to turn back..just go head and finish what I started..whatever It takes..iT damn do costs my parents Tonz of Dollars . Yeah...and about my lifestyle , my family , fRienDs and last but not least..ma Girl. I really miss mY FrieNds...they are one of my joy, laughter, courage, inspiration..teaching me alot of things about Life..in a way or another. I won't b here if its not for them. Everyone seems to be very busy...and I dun Blame them coz i am in the same situation..feeling the the same cramped,tight schedule that is driving me bonkers. One thing i miss big time is our soccer games...hAh~! great...just great..nothing can be better than playing soccer at basketball or futsal court with the guys..the spirit, the excitement,determination, the goals we score..still can replays those in my minds..HaHa..Inter-class champz in Sec 3.. yeaHhh..skipPing class..Helping eaCh other's tru Shitzz in Life, getting in shitz together, Chilling our time away..sharing things from family, girls, feelings, problems & planning of the future..the crazy things we would want to do...heY, damn...those CS war-times..Cineleisure, Grandlink..Epok-epok makcik...how critics could become fans of the game...just thinking of these pasts lifetime makes me smile to myself..it sadenned me to think that part of my life has past..there's too much to say...and i am really mizzing those times..jetting jumping, skipping skool, smoking in twenties in toiletz...keeping a look out for teachErz..LoL...those Guys are some of the few who have won my respect and I regard each of them as a special individual. Well..just taking my time to pay my tribute to you Guys who have meant alot to me...and if I die tommorrow and didn't get the time to say these...just wanna say..those happy moments will stay..no matter what happens, I will be the Acit you know & knew...nothing but god can change that...Ooo YEah..yoU guys are great..you know who you are..and I'll always b there for you if u need me..we are fated to cross each other's path..and I never regret the moments we waste together..hahaha...WeLL..regards you guys like ma BrotHers..One Heart, One Love, Upmost resPect...God Bless~!

2004-03-28T17:15:00.000+08:00

La la la...

ErrR..just another sundaY when I chILL my time away after a late saturday Night outing~WeLL...went to Mad Monkz..and yEaH...Sublime, House Music, Jumping freaks, hot chickz, the drinkz, the ravers,the sunglasses at night...was kinda alone as the rest of the guys head dwn to zouk...didn't wanna go there til the time comes..LoL..just once though..hehe..amongst all my venture to mad Monkz..tiz is considered the best Dj so far...the drum n bas event just stinkz as the beat are same tru ouT..so the DuLL..n yeah..the music was good..and I, after had my drinkz..put on my shadeS and just do what i do best on the dance floor..doing my thing and looking cool...LOL..i could swear..a few chickz were checking me out..except..their guys are like tagging ard them..LOL..mayb next time yeah..hahaha..and later than night..saw the other guyz..NoRis, Elmi, Kadir and yeah..their chickz...Errrrreerkk...poly life is hectic though it seem relaxed..don't b fool..i was..but nothing in life come Ez rite..And YeaH..Farid, if u r reading thiz..just wanna take the chance to say Thanzk dudE...Cheerz!

2004-03-27T19:12:00.000+08:00

WadUup YaLL~!

WaddUp a week...as usually...Hectic weekdayz~ Now..the weekend have come by again..Errmm..yeah...yesterday...thought of catching a movie with moi daRl..buT it didn't work out due to some complicationz...LoL...then..saw the guyz..nvr fail to miss their facez in twn..then..eaT at Liat Tower's
BK...saw zaki, zul and ezad...how they've changed...from those abg2 tappered who i love to laugh at to cool peepz...transformation huh~! Then after that...I and Izah...head dwn to Esplanade...tru Boat quay...the same usual thing at boat quay on fridaY nitez..Butches n bitches at mad monkz , Copz at the opposite side..plenty of Nelly wanna Bs outside Hendrix , Matz SacHok...kekeke..Kentalz outside Chocolate bar..and the same short bucth who always trying her best to get me into that God forsaken Pub.."Chocolate Bar"....hahaa...no way am i going in there unless a Blue mooN..then chill by the river bank infront of the OUB building...after a while head to c Mr Melly upclose n personaL . Then baby got sick and It really hurt to c her in pain...I can't bear it and gotta took out my last 20 buckz in my account for her cab fees..haiizzz...and i am all Broke now...fuct...I need cash..how the hell am I going to Thailand without cash..LoL..well..put that aside first..The question is..to rave or not todaY...LoL..meetingz the guyz latta..not sure..zouk or Monkz..hrmm...but the problem is..I ain't have no greenz~!! kekeke...wished i still have my 3000 buckz in my account...how time and Money flies with it...keke...ok..gotta go Matez! Rave on~! TriPpin! TriPpiNn~!

2004-03-21T06:30:00.000+08:00

RespecT~!
FcuK mannn..wat a dayyy....morning...appeal for my debarment...managed to pLead my sorry ass from debarment..then..had my maths test...Big TIme Fuck...the questions...seems so familiar..yet i wasnt sure waaT formulae to use n all....LoL..but...hopeFully...i make it tru...

WeLL..today..i didn't spent my Saturday nite wIth moi sunshine..intend on spending some time catching up with moi Esse..Yeah...damn shaagged aight..just got back from clubbing...well..my head still doing "ZINGgggzzz"....but bside it..i am sober..kekeke..weeeLL...where shuld i start..aight...first..drop by twn first..Yeah..put on my leather coat...been some time I put that on..only on occasions..coz..it got a charm on it...if you know wat i mean...somehow..its a chick magnet...LoL..strange..but haven't failed me yet..WeLL..going for dinner at Far East plaza..RahaTul restaurant or sometin...thenn..tiz girl called my name..no idea who she is..seem alien to me..then..she goes.."MOlly ah"...oooo...just smile back..Cheerz..too hungry to talk more..LoL

Then waited like damn 15mins for my food...Goonz...wAt took you so long....~!
Then met pleenty of lost mates...saw Adi BoB , Saf , Safie...with their brader-brader "SAM"...kwakwa...ok la...headiing to Jamz..wat can i say...they got thier own way of having fun..

Then...saw my couz...she goes like.."asal kau pakai gini???" ....i just smile...then gave her moi No. then got moving..dun wanna start a fight...so in a party mood to get into that...y give me the look?..her fucking guy...is a fag with those tappered pants and wat piece of shit he's wearing...LAME...got the guts to stare at me...well..i just give him the "U suck!" grin and keep on moving...y?? got a problem with me u FuckIng LameRs??? gOing ard as if u are something....for ur Info...u are my laughing stock...kwakakawaka...hard to swallow...? wEll..learn to then....LOL...well notin much goiNg on in twn..just lots of ppl..and that didn't help the fact that i was feelin hot in my coat..then met MikOng and his Gf at orchard's starbucks or coffee bean...which one...NOt SURe AH!!!~~kekeeke waited for Apek with his Bro...Rahmat n hisham KambIng came soon after..

Well...called Rod..he's a funny chap when he's drunk...LOL..wtf..tot wanna ask him to party..but he was bonking his chick...mannnn...Heard news bout Jengz and all..well...i did reminded him of his disturbing behaviour aight...watch the WorD and ACtIOn BOY! ...u might drag us to trouble..but he won't listen..so guess we hav to party without you mate..haizZzz..then we head for boat quay...while Fauzi, Rahmat and Hisham head for Swiss Hotel...some party with Rahmat matez...met us later at ard 3am.

Well...head dwn to London Nights FIrst to met up with Deno..he's spinning that night thou...schedule seemed tight..coz there's live bands performing there...Well..didn't take us long to get out of there and have our drink...had Martel..Noicee..veen a while...then head to Mad Monkz...some drum and bass stuffz...kinda lame thou...the dj suckz...same beats all the while..then..just half an hour there and we head to London Nights...dEno promised to play me some House Music..well..damn weell he did...and we danced all out aight...Damn..somehow the crowd except for some didn't appreciateit as much as we do...well..ThaNkz No...ya really spark up the fire in me and start the beat kicking in ma veins...then when it's done at 3am...Said my peace to Him..then head dwn back to Mad Monks...well got a little agitated with this "Pak Hitam" of the youNg ones..hey kid...better watch who u're fucking ard with...the nxt thing you know...you might get flat on the ground...or worse..well...Told apeK abt it..hope he will get it into that dumb kid's head...coz if talking dun work..then we just might get nasty..

RIteeee...the crowd there all moving the same...like some kind of sychronize dancing...LoL...that's wat I dun like bout Drum & Bass..Well..since i was all worked up with the Martel, Beerz and cyders...i ain't pay much attention to the music....Like i always do...Feel the Music...let your body groove to it itself..make My move to the dance floor...the adrelin from House music still pumpin hard to my head...my eyes seemed to play with the disco lights..then...BAM~!....I hit the podium...the Music is in me..and I danced my heart out out there...and the crowd of ppl...gave way...to the guys...doing our thang...chickz trying their best to fit in...I Just Smiled the whole hour looking at the way they try to imitate...and while on the podium...noticed lotz guys..just trying to "Stuudy" us...looking at our individual moves....then tiz two guys come up to me and giv me a salute...offer me their hands to the "toUch"...I feel a bit flattered though I knew i am doing my thing real good...for some reason...everytime i Put on that Leather coat..it's a moral booster and i do wat I feel like doing...LoL...it goes on...and somehow...I feel i am being watched..and thiz sanyoerita was dancing below me...with the guys...but ocasionally...i Caught her red-handed giving me the eye...and yeah..I moved dwn rite..Hey izah...Not wat aight..just trying to c if I still got it...LOL...then...Farid told me he get brushed off by that girl...hahaha...playing hard to get aye Biatch...zaki been dancing with her and she just ignored him...hrmmmm...let me try...then i cut in Zaki...showed her wat's raving's all about..popped my moves straight to her..she was helpless...followed me all over the dance floor...i just danced...looked straight into her with my already bloody red eyes...then like a strike of lightning the lights went on...and I was blinded for a moment...

Then she goes " Hey mann...you are cool...I need to learn some of those...wat's ur name? " .... I acted stupid...hahahaha...I just loike it when there spill the truth out raw..."wat do u mean by those??"...."Yeah..i mean ur Dance moves....duhhh...I was alone and i waited for u to move in to dance with me..but u didn't!"...could c her pissed off right...kekeke...i just prefer ladies making the first move...turn me on...i only make my move on them on occasions.."hrMmm....are u alone..wanna follow me back?"....LoL...so eazy huh??? ...." nah...i am with matez...afraid not..." then she goes..."ooo...I'm Ama...exchange numbers ?"...bfore i culd react..she snatched the handphone from my hand...stored her num and did a missed call from my Hp...then..she said she gotta go...and she msg me..."Hey dude..how did I danced just now?? btw...Hope to c you next week...we could boogy dwn together..."..LoL...yeah rite...

After that some ppl puked here and there...LoL...been sometime since I really Puked...kekekeeke..then...we go our separate ways...fucK...I overshot my NR trip to senKang...Damnnn..for a moment I was dizzy and clueeless...damn...can't take it anymore...my head is spinning...took a cab and reached hm at 5.15am...washed my face..drink a glass of orange juice...then...suprisingly...i became sober soon enuff...WOAhhhh...wat an entry for a day...well the sun is rising...Baby...sorry I can't make it today.....nothing to say....just sorry...Love you dearly..and only ya..

well....heRe we Go Go Go Goooooooo...........zzZZZzzzzzZZzzzzzzzzZzzzZzzzzzZZZZzzZZZZZZZZZZ

2004-03-18T15:16:00.000+08:00

AloHa ~!
Wat a hectic week it's been for me...ARghhh..It's been all about sch and studies and tests and projectS~!
LoL...just too tired to think abt it anymore..just do wat i am suppose to do..Haizz..btw...i revived my dead passion of reading...LoL..Spending some time reading Bookz..ranging from general bOok abt Legendz and people..about the World. And also some fantasy and anything that excites me...I somehow find this inner peace in reading after all the hard day's work. LoL...CreePy HornY~!

Hrmmm..on SundaY..went to watch Disney On Ice..Beauty And the beasT with My dad's side of the famiLy..and Izah is there too..hehe..hrmm..it was quite boring to me as I knew the storyline already..but the music and the magical ice-skating skills add the spices to the show. Yeah..so overaLLy..not bad arrr..then..after that head dwn to Bugis Junction to catch a movie...LoL..my first time watching a movie there..as I alwayz Catching showz at Twn..LidO and so on..wE hit the screen for DirTy DancIng...the danciNg is good...not much depth to the show..just great dancIng~!
And guess what~...i was shocked that Chicken Rice now cost $4...LoL...mann..seems that prices are really rising for everything..woah..from cigarrettes to chicken Rice?? wHat A JokE! Then we walked from bugiS to Suntec.. after that head dwn to the stretch of Singapore River..from suntec..it was a LONG walk..we chill by the stretch of river opposite the National Stadium..then we slowly walked to Esplanade to catch our ride HoMe..can't hang ard long as it's schLing the next daY..had a good time...I don't know exactly how to put this thought of mine into wordz..but since my sunshine comes into my Life..it's so dIfferent......

Goota run..In sch now..gotta do some assignments..*ChEerz*!

2004-03-14T02:51:00.000+08:00

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SomeTimEz Y0u.. just talk boUt thinGz which just don't interest me..Spoilt my enthiusm with ur Undecisiveness..TurN me off by the slightest action..irritates me when I m not in my BesT mOod..makes me feel inferior..sAd to know how I've hurt u..Loss my trust by the people ard u..Bother me of ur past TiMez..worried for u..miss u so bad..makez me feel so guilty..caused jealousy, in me? LoL~weird...and makes me fear..fear of being crushed again . . .

I too know i've my Fair shaRe of imperfection..though I tried my best to b perfecT..but i am just myself..and wat u get is pure me..I am not and nvr will be somebody else..~~

But Y0u Have Always ..nvr faIl to make me sMile..always beeN honest..comfort me & brighTen up my day when everything seem to be going the wrong way..b cute to bribe me..melts me when u look me in the eyes..shower me with ur "priceless" Love..been there when I need someOne to talk to..turn me on in ur special way..stealingly kiss me everytime i am not looking..comfort me with ur soothing words..sound cute when u just woke up..look so innocent when sleeping..share ur joYs & tears..hug me and make me feel good..being straight n upfront with me bout problems n mistakes..looK stunning in everythiNg..care for me..make me faLL in Love again & again with you..Win my heart~

As much as i Know that I reaLLy have fallen for U...sometimes I just want don't want to believe it..coz..I just don't wanna bear the hurt n loss again..but i am willing to take the risK..BcaUse..I haVe FaLLen In Luv with You....

~~And OnLy TiMe WiLL TeLL~~

2004-03-13T15:10:00.000+08:00

Garage rock! I like you... I like you alot! You
and indie are on the same plane for me! You
bring rock'n'roll down to its dirty roots,
whether being minimalist like The White Stripes
or retro like The Strokes. You keep on doing
what you're doing! Oh...and did I mention I
like you alot?

What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-03-12T11:05:00.000+08:00

Ahoy Matey~!
I am currently in my I.T Class...trying hard to listen to my lecturer...He is the brother of the FLasH..talking so fast...he makes me DizZy..kwakwakwa..YeaH~my Day started out bad today..get uP at 8am..already so tired..then..my mum using her new technique of spraying water on my face..to wake me Up..LoL..though irritating...it workzzz~! I didn't even had the time to enjoy my tuna sandwich..gotta make sacrifices if I am to make it to sch on time..planning on taking a caB..If You are wonderIng wHy I am Suddenly so KeeN on being Punctual...LoL..It's Becuz I am on Probation on BeiNg DebaRred for two SuBjectz..and I gotta Change mY attitude now or there won't be any later..Then..I waited , waited & waited..But it Suddenly Seemed that everyone iN SingApore..is takinG the CaB..I waited patiently from 8.30am - 9.10am..by the time I was abt to give up and just take the Buz..and just be late..god answered my prayers and..and dwn came an empty COMFORT cab. ArGGhh~! y can't it come earlier..~!!! I think at least i will be the most 20 mins late..at least i can make it to class..but it just ain't my day as CTE was having a Massive Jam..DamN..my luck so souR~! Then..same goes at LornIe Road~! By the time I reached Sch..I was 45 mins Late..n i just spent 15 bucKz..for a pathetic 5 mins in class which i reaLLy wants to come in time..as it's the class which I am Potentially Debarred for.And thinking it was Over..i get my most dreaded paper..DIgital ElectroNics..and I scored a PUny 7 / 100...kwakwakwa..it's ok though as I was expecting iT to B bad~! HAizzzzzz~~and i going to have a long day ahead of me...actuallY ending sCh at 3 on Friday..buT I got ThiNgs to settle and I only be done at 7pm...woAHhhh~! I feel like ShouTing ouT loud...
But amongst all those bad news...I scored "A" for my ITA practical test on ExceL..haizz..ain't that more like it...weeLL..today I gotta chose an area I wanna study n I thInk I would like to specialise in COmputers. Errmmm...yeaHhh..still hangiNg on tightly for my dear Studies~! FUCk~! LoL..weLL..can't go out todaY..as it will be late by the time I got back..waNna take a deserving rest from all this Load of work bestowed on me~! Aight...goiNg to luncH sooN..So Nice DaY EverYone...CaBoTzZzZ~!!

2004-03-11T00:28:00.000+08:00

Hey...bAck agaIn~!
Pheww...life is going up and dwn the hill lately..but i am doing GoOd overally~! Got to know my resultz...my passed at the range of 70+ for my Programming & Signal & Network...though i know i can do better...i am satisfied with these two results coz...in the first place...i wasn't well prepared..errmm..yeah...for my digital electronics...i got bad news...my fat & short lousy lecturer told me i am already on the debarment list for that Subject..damn..just becoz of my attendance...i can't take my Examination?? itz unfair...i can still study on my own riTE..but i really tried to make it to class...n eventhough i am always late(which is a sickness)...i still took the effort..n some ppl just can't appreciate it..so I just hang on tight there..coz some ppl just make me fed-up abt studying..y can't they b humble n nice..they don't know my problems..Haizz..just go with the flow then..if i culd make an appeal mayb..i will..no point wasting 6 more months just for 1 suBject..Argghhh..letz skip the topic~!

erMmmm..yesterday..two of my Couz picked me Up from Bukit panjang after i met Izah...then we go riding to Pasir Ris..and into the park on bikes..kwakwakwa..it was like a racing track to them..bloody hooligans them..saw some MaTz-maTz...haha...whacked the throttle as we passed them...LoL..for some reason...I LoiKe The feelinG~! Then..since we can't go into the swamp as it is under rEnov...we scram to my place...chill for a while..catching up on lost times together..then I have a test ride on my Cuz's KRR..brand new..n he was scared of having me riding it..while my other cuZ offered me to ride his S-4 vTec 3...i wasn't confident at all coz it's heavy n bIg~so i refresH my memory on the gears n clutch thingey..LoL..took me a while to get use to it again..and once i get the hang of it..i Was riding like the wind Babey..LoL...just ard the Carkpark though...kwakwakwa..WiCKed~!WickEd~! WeLL...looking forward to the week end coz I need to rest my mind...thinking abt my studies..makes me dwn..not bcuz of wat..just that..bcuz of my waking up late habitz n all..it have effect my studies real bad...ERgHH..YEah..N sunshine..wat u told me bout ur check-up and all..really bothered me..I really care bout ya n i will be helpless if u ever fall sick...so plz babY...take Care of UrsElf..Love ya Lotz SugaR~! Gotta catch ma Buz to "La-La Land" aight...so PeAce Out Esse~!

*PWeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhh*

2004-03-08T01:36:00.000+08:00

BooO~!
Well..been a while aye...Errmmm..let me recall back time..that Friday,Izah & I intended on catching a movie..but the shows available ain't interesting me a bit..n instead..i met the guys n they are going to Centro...Kosheen was playing that night..free entry n all..so since my baby was ok with it..I go with that instead..hrmm..not bad ar..Music is GoOd..The DriNkin isn't enuff..The CrowD is Full of Yuppies..plain clothes Officers..suspect CNB..were standing on their ground..watching sharply..it's sO Obvious~! And to think of It..Some Of ThE crowd pop that night..hahaha..well..I know & can spot plenty..coz..a thief know's how a thief works...get wat i mean? LoL...sHhhh...well...nothing much happened that night..except for the guys getting the usual lousy after party mood..since there is no after party..we go our own wayz..while some head dwn to Shah Alam fer supper..soMe Head BacK..while I n some of them chill by esplanade n wait fer first bus..Coz...too lazy to walk all the way back to Boat Quay to catch the NR. Haizz...to think of it..i am getting bored of clubbing..as i seen n done plenty of things ppl wait till they get 18 to do...or nvr will they get to do...i to think back...i juSt going 18 this Yr..LoL..since 14..my life is all about party~Having Fun~JoiNing The BiG Boyz~now i opened my eyes...i recalleD wat i been tru all this while...it's just short term satisfaction..Blah blah Blah~!

Btw...my dad got back from Thailand on Thursday nite...n i only get to see his face on Saturday morning..weird..haha..coz i been out all this wHile..n gettin back late..though i dun talk to my dad that much like I used to when he's still working In Singapore..I still respect him so much..he willing to sacrifice
being with the family n loved ones just to give us a comfortable life and he always get us what we need and wanted..I cannot ask for a better Dad..n to come n tink of it..I spending too much sometimes..It just makes me feel bad..i guess i've come to realised that I have to be thirfty now..Been 7 years since he first starts working in Thailand..first in Pattaya and now In Ayutthaya..Putting myself in his shoes..I just can't tink how am I going to bear the anguish of leaving my family & loved ones & friends so far away...that's y he always keep on telling me to study for my future...YEaH~btw...just now at 9pm..He Makes his move to Changi Airport as his flight leaves at 11pm..though i wanna tell him how much i really miss his presence while he is gone all this while..i just put on a fading smile and tell him that i will take care of the family and everything is going to be all right..weLL..he put me as the "Man Of The House"since the first time he's gone..but..personally..i fail my duty for the whole 7 yrs..LoL..i guess i just suck at being responsible...not fully yet...EverYtime he's ard..i could see the happiness in my mum & siblings..would go shopping and dinner as a family which we nvr do when he's away..aLot is missing without him..WeLL..he shuLd havE reached his place by now..Hope he's going to b Alright~! Peace OuT ~!

2004-03-05T04:18:00.000+08:00

Muse
"Time Is Running Out"

I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
That you've created

You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

You will be the death of me
You will be the death of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted

Now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation

You will squeeze the life out of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Ooooohh

You will suck the life out of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Ooooohh

2004-03-02T05:36:00.000+08:00

BAM~!
TodaY i got a blast of unpreparedness straiGht tRu my thIck SKuLL~! This Time..my last minute attempt results in deadly consequonces... After hours..i just sit, staring into my maths lecture notez...or should i say blank notez...with pages & pages of empty examples and missing formulae...FuckINg ThrasH~! Now...i am getting the pain from the joy of skIppin mathz lecture class...8am..how the fuck am i gonna get up on time(major problem) , get on the God daMned Full buzes & beat the pain in d ass traffic?? Well...no use blaming those reasons...it just suckz...and when i am so in the mood to study...my notes are empty..is this a punishment?? If i take my test today...i am a sure GoneR...condemned to fail...if this is a hAppy La-La test...i won't care to study...but hell yeah..this is 20% shitz for my semester..n failing this isn't gonna make my dayz brighter~! I will b fighting a losing battle here~! God Help me....and god gives me brain to think...so if i got a Stupid MC from my pathetic doctor...n submit it to tHe FarKing idoits...whoever they are~! Then...i will take my test some other day...and at the meantime...i borrowed lecture notes of any kind soul out there with readable handwriting..study my thing...and do it some other time...Hey...not bad huH~!

I am so stressed n cornered....by myself...i guess some Booze or Vodka might help...HaiZzz...Me in one side wanna Study,WorK HarD,be Religious,Be Successful in Life and Achieve my parents' dreams.....While the other side just wanna PartY,Do what i Enjoy doing,No worries,Be Wild,Freedom,Fantasies & Drugz. I have two pesonalities inside of me...the Angel and the Devil...and i am a little bit of both..i tink i am going bonkers...LoL...but hey...look on the bright side..i always got my way of gettin out of sHiitzz..I thanked God for that...Blessing me though i am nvr Loyal to his orders n restrictions...maY one day..God show me a light...a sign...or that day would nvr come?? onLy God knows...for now...i know..I got to overcome my tests...make an effort to Study harder...But for today...i ain't going...DaMn you people..who just waiting to gives me a zero for being absent today...but heY..I am BettEr in This game raTher Than You SickoZz..LoL..i got a feelin i am creepin yaLL out...LoL...ChiLL...I'm just lettin out~!

I feel so much better...~! Gotta get my MC n submit it tommorro..gotta give a kal to sch..but to wHo??
NacHi apPun the Kuntao draGon BaLL markeL..LoL...with his cap..acting cOol like the rock..but he's ain't...hehehe..mayb i just CaLL the Carona chicken rice staLL in sch n say i ain't coming for my test today....? kwakwakwakwa....FUck la...before i get cranky back...i tink i need some sleep now...Peace Out VaTo~! sWeet DreaMz PePooL~!

2004-03-01T04:05:00.000+08:00

WickEd~!
After 4 freaking hours...i tink i deserved a smoke break...Damn...having my Signals & Network Common test today at 8.30am...& i am doing some last minute study..hehe..since january till now..i never opened my lecture notes..till today...tadaaaaa~! Hey...i just love last minute study...keke...Not sure y exactly..but mayb just the rush n thrill just push me on to study...n really...itz effective on me..though..not all the time..hehe...but today..i really put in alot of schooL crap into my corrupted n ingenious brain of mine..kekeke..n all those numbers makes me dizzy...But hey...Look Mum & Dad..ur crazy son is studying!! Something you don't get to see everyday...huahuahua~!! Mann...can't believe it i just cramped the whole Topic 1 in 4 hours...alot of understanding n numbers in my head right now...still got 2 more topicz...Topic 2 on plenty of dumb theories on capacitors , inductors n yada yada yada~! n Topic 3 on plenty of formulaez that so called "Engineers" use...but whatever...becoming an engineer is not my dream actually...but if we are talking big money n convertibles & beautiful houses...count me in Baby~! mann..if only we can live Life n enjoy it and still get all the stuff in the world...won't it b a better world to live in..but it's just Life...NothiNg comes for free aiGht..still got 2 topicz...about 65 more pages of shitty information to squeeze into my head...erRgHhh...I going crazY...to tink of it...i still goT maThz , Digital Electronic & Programming to study....gotta hang on tight there till thursday...Just Do It~!

Aight...studies aside for a while now...hrmmm..been spending some quality time with Moi sunshinE lately...She reaLLy means alot to me...since she came into my life...everything seem so lovely..haizz..wondering what is she dreaming abt now...she lookz so innocent n sweet when she sleepz..yeAh~that friday we chill at town...ferstly when i got twn i meet up with some of my Matez n frenz at Topshop while waiting for Izah n Mel...n the first time ever...i worn the same t-shirt as Apek...erGGhh..it just freak me out when i wearing something the same as someone..especially my own mate..kwakwka....i feel like i just wanna run Away!! And Fauzi saying..."eH..baru balik kerja kape??" n when we sit in between him...he goes "Wah..bodyguard gua nampak~!" ....dammn...he wasn't helping the situation...cizzz~! errmmm..yeah...then we chill ard twn..walked till P.S with my sunshine , Mel & Praz. And i heard that Anna going clubbing n talking bad abt them...hahaha...first thing first...Anna clubbing?? kekeke...wonder how she dance...kwawkakwa...n then..the crisis part...ewwww..when is it gonna end sugar~?? u ladies...just go to hell with her already...let her do whatever she wanna do..u guys done ur part n try ur best to show her mistakes..but she wanna go her way...let it be...it's her life anyway...just make the best of your's while u still have it...then when praz & mel head to their love nest...i n baby walked dwn to esplanade..while walking..saw some real fast n furious wheelz on the road..usually thing every Friday nitezz..just wondering will i ever get to drive one...one fine day~errmmm...n yeah..chill by esplanade with my Sugar...talking sense n sharing things together..n after all have to be said is done...i teased her reaLLLL Bad...i knew she wants me at that mOment..but she just can't...hahaha...DirtY talKing~~I LoikE...especIaLLy when seh getz worked up with it..hehe..sorri baby..i can't resist...i feel it everytime i look at ur eyes...magical~! Wicked WickEd~! n on My ride Home In d NR...i say 2 gay guyz kissing , smooching n touching rite infront of me...damn you basTards...what The FUCk~! so The GeLi Mann..EWwwwW...makes me wanna puke...Fagz n gaYboyz really Suckz Mann..Just dun go ard messing with me aight..or u might get back with a broken nose or broken ribz..Errrr..long time since those time...kekeke..The Boyz been calling me on Saturday n SundaY..but i didn't answer any...a total of 15 missed calls...in an hour...then...peace..guessed have enuff of calling me..SorrY MAtez~! but I reaLLy dun wanna go out n if i answer those caLLz...n getting to Know what's happeNing..i just got to go...hahaha...i dun wanna miss out The fuN too...so better if I don't Know..Gotta Study too...shitzz..how i wish..i live wild n free like a stallion...Haizz...Enuff said i guess...me Gotta Hit back the Book YaLL...I knew u are sleeping sweeTheart..just wanna say i'm sorry that i can't hanG ard N Talked to ya long just Now...reaLLy sorry..for everything wrong i said n done..I Lurve you Lotz...Mizz ya even More...GooD morNing EverYone..wIsh me Luck aight~! Peace OuT ~~!

2004-02-27T17:28:00.000+08:00

Barefoot~~free, rebellious, and wild, you hate
boundries and rules. You tend to be on the
crazy side and often sweep people up along with
you. You are most likely the leader of your
group of friends.

What Kind of Shoe Are You?
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2004-02-27T17:22:00.000+08:00

You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
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2004-02-27T17:17:00.000+08:00

Tarzan!

What movie Do you Belong in?
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2004-02-26T03:26:00.000+08:00

You control the bloodlust, you long for blood, you
are a vampire of war, you crave for the taste
of pain inflicted upon people, suffering is
your middle name. You should stop and think
about what you are doing, instead of useing
what you have to hurt people you should try and
use it to help people, make their pain go away.
If you don't try to help and stay the way you
are, you are considered as someone without a
heart, but you may like that you may like
people to stay away, you may like to be alone,
it's your choice.

What Element Would You Rule Over If You Were A Vampire?
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2004-02-26T03:18:00.000+08:00

You're as dark as can get. You like to laugh at
people, make fun of them, hurt their feelings.
You're in so deep, you'll never get out, and
you probably don't want to get out too. You
make the world a darker place.Someone should not
unleash that dark side of yours for their
own sake.Errr..Better get my flashlight...

What kind of dark person are you?
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2004-02-26T03:11:00.000+08:00

Peace. You Truly Desire Peace. Just relaxing
somewhere calm with a light breeze against your
cheecks is our ideal of pefect. You don't like
to start fights, but instead, end them without
using violence.

What Do You Truly Desire? *PICS*
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2004-02-26T03:01:00.000+08:00

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective~The kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
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2004-02-26T02:57:00.000+08:00

You should be dating a Sagittarius.
22 November - 21 December
Your mate is frank and open, optimistic and honest.
Though the Archer can display bouts of
argumentative, impatient and critical
behaviour, he or she is extremely adventurous
in bed.

What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
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2004-02-26T02:49:00.000+08:00

Congratulations! You're a screaming orgasm!!

What Drink Are You?
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2004-02-26T02:33:00.000+08:00

You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.

"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life.
She cried a single tear and shed a single drop
of blood upon the earth where she buried it.
From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into
the world."

Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek),
Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian).
The Goddess is associated with the concept of
creation, the number 1, and the element of
earth.
Her sign is the dawn sun.

As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic
individual and people are drawn to you.
Although sometimes you may seem emotionally
distant, you are deeply in tune with other
people's feelings and have tremendous empathy.
Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your
own self. Goddesses are the best friends to
have because they're always willing to help.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
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2004-02-26T02:22:00.000+08:00

Fuck me hard! Aaah, your hott wet pussy...your hard
throbing dick... you dirrty slut. Moan out loud bitch..
yeah! You like to talk dirrrrty and be talked to
even more dirtier..none of the romantic bullshit while
fucking...well...maybe a little before that..just fuck hard and lets fuck now!

What type of SEX do You enjoy?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-02-25T03:40:00.000+08:00

WaLa~!
What a day...The firsT thinG i do wHen I woke Up..is to SaY HALooo To my Ikan Pari Bakar in The Fridge...hehehe...Then I bathe while my Mum heat iT up..Met Izah At Bishan..She LooKed Stunning...Nvr FaiL to Turn mE On everYtiMe wiTh Her cHarM...Her DeeP Eyez Enchanted Me..*wInK*...Errmmm...Yeah..HearD VidaH Sing N i reaLLy Tink She Got A powERfUL voice..QuaLity Voice she got therE..Aight..then heaD dwN to EasT coAst..a BBQ pit of some Poly frIendz...ThouGh not Much Turned Up..i am HaappY to c some of Them...takinG Time Off Study n hanging LooSe for A mOmenT..WoHoo..Sunshine waS helPing Me Out with BbQing the CHicKies...theN JenGz N IzIn came Dwn to mEet Me...haha..GlaD tO c theM..sOundz WeiRD but i Mizz My MateZ..HavEn't SeeN them fer Some Time..While some Bz witH worK,others just Mysteriously disappers..Had Some DriNkz~GorDon Gin..Vodka N Gin AlwaYz got A ButterFly EffeCt On me..yeaH...had Some privatE time With sunshIne..It waS NicEzz..AlwaYz BeeN....*GrIn*....

YeaH...Stayed Up Late Today to Watch 2 GreAt GAmez..4 MarVeLLouz teaMz..PlentY oF SupErB PlaYerz..ReaL MAdrid Vs Bayern Munich & Arsenal Vs Celta Virgo....Wohhooo...Hrmmm...I reaLLy respect BayerN mUnIch Talents But I m PuttIng My Money on ReAL Madrid...n in the oTher game...i got a feelin in my gut that Arsenal will Win Coz thEir Form is greAt at tHE Moment....HAhaHaIIII...currently watchIng ReaL N Bayern..n after 45 minutez..still no goalz in the Game..WHilw In The Other Game..Both ArseNaL n CelTa Are 1 Evenz...zidane..got some shIt mann..His ball ControL n FanCy FoOtWorKz alwayz EnterTaiN me...WeLL...JusT gonna Sit BacK n ReLax...eNjoyiNg The Game With A cUp oF MArIgoLd CherrY JeLLy N a SparKLing Glass of PEEL FresH's White Grape Juice With ALoe Vera...dUn ForGet The CalBee PotatOe ChIppzz...uuuwwww...I LoIKe~! so....What Time Is It????
*MArIgoLD TIme*

2004-02-24T01:33:00.000+08:00

WaddUp yaLL~!
Went to Wdldz just now to accompany Izah to study with Mel & Praz. Hrmm..Mel is showing her first stepz in becoming the goDmother of gamblerS...baru Blajar main Taitee pe?? kekeke...She will sOon Move To the hIghEr Co-operAte ladder & PlayIng in China TowN wiTh Mamasanz &
Laupek-pek...LoL...Mel...she's such a Loud n cheerful Person..Fun to have ard..WeLL...lose 20 cent on playing blackJack with Praz..haha..not my faV moNey Game..theN i taught Praz a bettEr moNey makinG game...Pair K0l...haha...long time since I play that game...n while teaching Praz,i confused myself..on when to increase the Bet .. Juzt hope u understd my Explaination PraZo..LoL..hrrMmm..Showed Dee Some Mind Blogging Card Moves..LoL...i am a Illusionist In the making...kwakwakwak...hrmmm..basically...my day today ain't much happeningz..just happy to spent it with mOi baby..Though it's only a whiLe..worth My time~! Errmmm..beeN some time sInce i meet Ma Esses..been a while since we just get together n HiT d clUbz loIke we used to Do...that waS so YesterdaY...weLL...Hope Each n everyone Of the Guyz are DoinG WeLL...yeah...ReSpEct~!

Just finished talking to my sunshine...yeah baby..i know whaT u mean & i feel whaT u r feeLin bEfore...TakE my Wordz, no Matter what, you are my onLy one..there's No One Else...And yeah...you haVe Never SpoIlt my fun bfoRe...I Knew all thosE thingZ I do Ain't Pleasing u One Bit...But dear..iT's Just part of my Lifestyle & i need some time of my OwN..buT nvr have u ever Cease My Mind...so pls don't woRry..though i knew jealousy is playing ard with our feelins..i felt that too..but if there's Love..Noting gonna Cum Between Us...N yeah..i ain't farid..u said he can do that...well i am Acitz..not Farid~U can't compare me with him..I have my own ways..my own ways of seeing things...n if u can't accept me for who i am..then noting i can do abt it...but B..i reallY appreciate u being honest n open with me..u arE the GreaTest ThinG tHaT hapPened in Ma Life..Just GimmE Time...U really Mean AloT to Me...u Are ma sHinIng Light....My Guiding Star n i lUv ya BaBey...SweeT dreaMz Lolita~!

*Bom Bom Bom*

2004-02-22T22:14:00.000+08:00

Mahalo,
Damn...i burned my sunday on sleeping the whole day..i got back at 7 am from clubbin at S.O.S....wohoo~! beeN a while since I danced so close with a babe. The moment i reached home...i stripped to my boxers and fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow. I only opened my eyez at 7.30 pm...shitzz..i was supposed to follow a frend to my first Horse race at kranji...kwakwawka...lekz with the apekz..hoping my horse would win...what a joke..just can't see myself doing that..but my friend really did all he could to assured me that i got get at least 80-100 bucks just with $20..hrmm..can say i trust him 50/50 coz firstly he did showed me he win some by treating me to clubz and drinks plenty of times..but if he really won so much...y is he still working ? He said that his work is just a side line job...lalala...it's his life..and he can do watever he tink is right...but i am no horse mann..haha..Aighttt...hrmm...having my 1 week study break right now and having my Common the week after...maannn i am so unprepared..hope to make the full use of my study time Coz if my results are ugly..i got get debarred for my Digital Electronics module..coz since January till now..i came only once for the tutorial...which is real BAddddd for me..damnn...that was also becoz i was on MC for several times due to my broken elbow..well..the others are bCOz i woke up late..haizzz...waking up early have nvr been easy for me...erGghh...never have i been so worried bout my studies..shitZ..just dun wanna let my parent's dreams Dwn...they sacrificed so much for me..and the least i could do is to make them happy...btw...got a project presentation tommoro at 10am and my fucking group members played me out...fuck them...if they wanna go and repeat their module bcuz of stupidity..go ahead...i not coming with them...stupid Slackers..it's their grave...getting to my project soon..left with some last touch upz~!

Well...turning back the time....Was there when Farid got his shitzz from Anna..well i dun noe what's going on anyway..just heard it from Izah bout wat's happening between Farid & Anna..well baby..wat i told u is my point of view and i hope u understand...i wasn't letting u dwn or tryin to make u feel bad..mayb wat u guys did might b right..but i just feel sorry for her that's all...she's wrong too of course..Lying is the Greatest sin...that leeds to others...but i tink she still deserve some respect...soo...hope everything is fine...erghhh..every relationship got the ups and dwn...and everyone get their joys n hurt in it..so try and n accept that.

Well, feeling weird these few days....Sorry sunshine bout yesterday...i feel much better after letting it out..i dun know y it's all so sudden that i get all cranky and quiet...I was tired and all..and when things just dun go my way i might get unreasonable..but i am alright now..drinking my thoughtz away..Love ya SweetIe...Cheerz~!

*Kab0oom*

2004-02-16T15:25:00.000+08:00

HoLLa ~!! WooHo0 ~!! Thiz is weird..but, HeY~! Look who's having his FErsT blOg..Me!! LoL...i dun really Know how Tiz HappeN...Blame It On faTe..LoL..

Aight..so i guess..i had finally unblocked the clog about Blog in tiz brain Of Moi. Zappzz...it rhymes..kwakwa StiLL got Lotz to Learn..Shitzz..I got a programming prac test toMoro morning n I am so not in ThE mood to Study..I am feeLing Kinda Sleazy..errm..goNna Catch My Lastest Dream soon...yeah..just bleached my hair n i Look Lkye tHe GoldEn Monkey..LoL..btw..i am dying it to Ash Brown Later..a really quiet afternoon today fer me..noT feelin like goin ouT..not really feelin lKye Studying too..all i feel like doing is...NOthing~!
errrr...I mizz My sunshine Lotzz..wonder What she is doing right now..keke..i really need her help in tiz Blog..I am clueless..oritez Mochachoz...i oFf to La La Land..*Peace OuT~!*