My Electro Magnetic Life
{Tuesday, October 03, 2006 . }

Soundcheck : Always Somewhere by Scorpions

It's the fasting month and in this holy month, i'm abit different in my mood, my acts and my desires, in a good way. Praise Allah.

I will have to force myself to wake up in the afternoon one of this days, I wanna go take some porridge at the Mosque for my grandfather. It's sometimes sad to see your beloved ones suffering. Even tho, from my birth, his vision of me was nothing more of a blurry image, his love and advises have guided me well and always, a good sense of humour.

Once he said during Aidilfitri, "Rasyid...susah ah atuk mata tak nampak, badan sengal-sengal....kalau dapat lagi 2-3 ramahdan, shukur allhamduhlilah"...and upon hearing that, my heart sink and all I can do was say a heartfelt prayer to God to grant him his wishes. And I replied "Insya-Allah atuk. Insya-Allah." .It makes me think, his readiness to face death, it leaves me thinking.

I haven't get much chance to pay the grandparent's a visit, dad's overseas and everyone's busy and that day I went and got to see my grandfather, he's getting weaker due to old age, however just sitting and looking at him brings me peace, and I sat by him and he asked me, "Siape ni? Rasyid tak datang eh?" and when I say it's me, his happiness and his smile was one that touched me so deep. Hit me so deep down there...I had to braced myself to prevent tears from rolling down. I felt so blessed, and at the same time sad, at the thought, when he's gone.

If giving one of my eye will make him see again, I swear I will, for when I talk to him, I feel his utmost desire to see his children all grown up and to see my grandmother and all his grandchildren. Still, his faith and his spirit is one I've learnt to follow. If there's such thing as miracles...I pray for that one final moment, when everyone, is there to see him, he'll be granted perfect sight which was taken away from him for more than 40+ years, for him to have a final look at us. I know it will mean alot to him. It will mean alot to me. So, those with sight, cherish it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm writing a letter to God. Almost all my prayers have been answered. So God is listening somewhere. Whether it be writing or saying a prayer, I think it's our heart that matter. God bless .


*AciTz KiNgKi0w* turned back time on 6:42 AM

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